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This romanticized Frankenstein story is a shocking musical with a rocking score.

The story of a Bat Boy living in a West Virginia cave — illustrated with a photoshopped baby picture —  amazed America in 1992 when published by Weekly World News, which bills itself as The World’s Only Reliable News. Playwrights Keythe Farley and Brian Flemming shared the popular fascination, and a gothic science fiction began stewing in their minds.
    Five years later, with the help of composer/lyricist Laurence O’Keefe, their romanticized Frankenstein story — a sort of Edward Scissorhands meets Dracula and Liza Doolittle — became a hit musical with a shocking book and rocking score.
    Now, Beverly van Joolen and Colonial Players shake up staid Annapolis with a five-star production and an all-star cast exultant in pathos, religiosity, hypocrisy and tasteful debauchery.
    Ron Giddings as Bat Boy/Edgar is phenomenal, embodying his character’s mutations with curled extremities, nasal mewling, haunted eyes and adorably creepy ears. Yanked from his subterranean home, he lives like a curiosity with the family of Hope Falls’ veterinarian Dr. Parker (Chris Patton), suspended arms folded from his cage or flitting to the tabletop. Starved for love and blood, he is dependent on the charitable Parkers, who transform him from a bald beast to a civilized boy.
    The virginal missus, Meredith Parker (Wendy Baird), mothers and tutors him as she sings A Home for You, feeding him people food he retches. Meanwhile, the villainous doctor secretly feeds his bloodlust and plots his destruction even as sister Shelley (Paige Miller) learns to love him.
    Despite good intentions, proclaimed in the song Christian Charity, townsfolk are not so accepting.
    Edgar alienated the locals right off the bat by biting young Ruthie Taylor (Emma Panek), who with brothers Rick (Nathan Bowen) and Ron (Corey Jeweler) discovered him in the cave. She’s been languishing in the hospital ever since. There Mrs. Taylor (Alicia Sweeney) croons Mrs. Taylor’s Lullaby to her with the comic shrillness of Edith Bunker. Hormone-crazed Rick seethes, in Whatcha Wanna Do?, over Edgar’s place in Shelley’s home and heart.    
    Meanwhile, Edgar’s Pygmalion-like transformation — mastering English with a British accent no less, singing Show You a Thing or Two — proves fantastic and fatal. Sheriff Reynolds (Scott Nichols), Mayor Maggie (Debbie Barber-Eaton) and citizens (Bronwyn van Joolen, Shannon Benil, Sam Cush, Kendra Penn and Shirley Panek) can’t warm up to the freak in formalwear.
    When Edgar crashes a church revival where the Rev. Hightower (Lynn Garretson) raises the roof with Christian love, singing A Joyful Noise, Edgar’s earnest prayer for healing in Let Me Walk Among You is thwarted by Dr. Parker’s slanderous lies. Thus, the Bat Boy becomes the scapegoat for the community’s woes.
    He and Shelley flee to the woods where Pan (John Hamli), sublime in fur and codpiece, presides over their coupling amid an animalistic orgy. His song is Children, Children. The couple quarrel over their future together in Inside Your Heart before her parents discover them and resolve the mystery of Edgar’s history (via a video projection to onstage scrims) to determine the couple’s fate.
    It’s macabre, zany, sweet and ridiculous with rousing tunes like Hold Me, Bat Boy that you’ll continue humming all weekend. The entire cast delivers in this biting social commentary. Miller and Giddings will break your heart with their harmonies and humanity, while Hamli and Garretson astound with their powerhouse vocals. Baird and Bowen display comic genius in their singing and acting roles.
    Colonial’s most technically intensive project to date, Bat Boy employs four types of LED lights, colored strobes, center stage floating projections, fire, smoke, fog, a mirror ball and moving sound. Even the program, in tabloid format, delivers with flashy headlines and bat-themed trivia.
    You’ll have to see this extraordinary two hours and 15 minutes to believe it.
    But don’t take the kids: Content depicts violence, sex and drug use, and special effects are alarming.

Musical director: David Merrill. Choreographer: Jamie Erin Miller. Set: Terry Averill. Sound: Wes Bedsworth. Lights: Frank A. Florentine. Costumes: Elizabeth Chapman. Makeup: Eddie Hall. Additional special effects: Keith Norris. Musical accompaniment: Right on Cue Services. Film: Make Your Mark Studios.
 
Playing thru April 19. ThFSa 8pm, Su 2pm at Colonial Players Theater, 108 East St., Annapolis. $20 w/discounts; rsvp: 410-268-7373; www.thecolonialplayers.org.
 

You’ve got too much to do, and it’s our fault

Oh my aching back!    
    I blame it on Bay Weekly’s Home and Garden Guide. Last week’s 16-page Guide combined with fine spring weather for a weekend of joyful outdoor labor at the Martin-Lambrecht household. Now we’re both moaning.
    As well as winter’s ravages, we had a quarter-century of our own mistakes to undo. So this year’s campaign for Yard Beautiful began with the arrival of a landscape designer. That’s the Guide’s fault, too, for without it calling on professional help might never have occurred to me. But with the designer came a plan beyond my fondest dreams.
    Saturday morning husband and I jumped right in. Wet heavy leaves were raked, bushes clipped, trees pruned, weeds dug, rocks carried, mistakes amended with shovel and saw — and all that and more just to get ready for one small section of The Plan.
    By Sunday dusk, we figured out that our Yard Beautiful plan detailed everything but the labor required to carry it out.
    Collapsed in a heap on Sunday night, I returned to the Guide. This time I was looking for the help I’d need to catch up on everything neglected and imagined, from a clean house to washed windows to fresh paint to a plumber. Not to mention many new shrubs and plants plus a few boulders and most certainly a spa for aching bones.
    In that reading, I learned what the Guide was missing. Where were the massage therapists? Where were the remedies for aches and pains? And where was dinner, for I certainly didn’t have the strength left to cook?
    Bay Weekly came to my rescue. Every one of those necessities I found in the rest of our pages.
    The new paper you’re reading now, thank goodness, has Maryland Disc Institute advertising on the back cover. Next week I expect to need Dr. Hodges’ services, for the weekend forecast is perfect for more lawn and garden work.
    That’s the trouble with a good newspaper: in it you can find everything but the time to do it all.
    In that sense, this week’s paper has way too many siren calls, in stories, 8 Days a Week and advertisements.
    Here’s the Pride of Baltimore II, reinforcing the siren song of the water. Heed the call of boating, as I’m just about to do on a much smaller scale, and there goes the time you’d devote to your home and garden. Here this very weekend is the Bay Bridge Boat Show, where — unless I resist — certain trouble awaits.
    Then, just next weekend, it’s opening day of the Trophy Rockfish Season, when much of the population of Chesapeake Country turns into fishing zombies.
    There’s more. Under your eyes and at your fingertips are upcoming Easter events, parades and egg hunts, religious experiences and feasts.
    There’s the Naptown barBAYq coming May’s first weekend. Plus SPCA’s Walk for the Animals that same weekend.
    With all these calls on your days far into the future, it’s a good thing spring’s sun sets early, for how else would you find time to see Colonial Players’ production of Bat Boy. Reviewer Jane Elkin reports it’s the most extraordinary theater experience ever to come to Chesapeake Country.
    Close your newspaper quick, before you’re tempted any further. If your life is filled with the pain of too many good things, blame it on Bay Weekly.

Sandra Olivetti Martin
Editor and publisher; editor@bayweekly.com

Design your vegetable garden for trickle irrigation

You can reduce the amount of water you use for your vegetable garden by 70 percent and count on a bountiful harvest. If you lay out your garden in rows, trickle irrigation can make a world of difference.
    Its virtues are many. You irrigate only the rows you plant — not between the rows where the weeds grow. The trickle of water also carries water-soluble fertilizer to the roots of desirable plants; again, the weeds get none. Because water is applied slowly in drops directly on the soil, there is no water loss to the atmosphere by evaporation. Because the foliage of plants remains dry, there are fewer problems with disease. Weeds are less a problem when the soil between the rows remains dry.
    Follow the rules and it will work for you.
    You’ll need a real trickle hose. A soaker hose isn’t good enough. Water weeps out from around the entire surface of the hose, which is made of recycled ground rubber tires. The trickle hose has pinholes every six to 12 inches, and they are laid face down so the water goes directly into the ground and does not evaporate.
    I recommend drip tape for your trickle hose. No working length can be longer than 300 feet. The rows in your garden need to be level or nearly level. Water must be clean and free of particles running at a minimum pressure of 10 PSI (pounds per square inch). Well water is safe to use, but surface water from ponds or streams must be filtered to remove solids.

Supplies First
    Trickle irrigation supplies are not available from local suppliers, garden centers or farm supply dealers. I buy mine from Farm Tek. As drip tape is sold only in 1,000-foot spools, you might consider encouraging friends or neighbors to join you in ordering.
    Streamline 636 drip tape (110742) is made of eight-millimeter black polyethylene with drip holes spaced 12 inches apart.
    For each row, you will also need a twist lock that attaches the drip tape to the water supply. I use the 110736 twist lock. Consider the 110740 twist lock with a valve should you wish to shut off lines not in use.
    To insert the twist lock into the water supply line, I recommend purchasing the 110746 8-mm punch. Purchase a small supply of 110738 twist lock couplings in case you damage a drip tape or wish to extend a line.
    You’ll also need a garden hose, three-quarter-inch black plastic pipe and adapters, all available at your local hardware store. To determine the amount of black plastic pipe needed, measure the length of the garden hose that will be supplying water. You’ll also need a three-quarter-inch garden hose, an H-adapter for every supply line, as well as one three-quarter-inch end plug and clamp.

Installation
    For uniform watering, lay your drip tape as level as you can in the rows soon after seeding or transplanting. I hand-water transplants first to firm the soil around the roots before installing the drip tape. The drip holes should be in contact with the soil.
    Cut the drip tape two feet longer than the row, knot it at the farther end and bury that end to prevent wind movement. If the drip tape is being laid on a warm, sunny day, allow slack because it will contract as it cools.
    The three-quarter-inch black pipe water supply line should first be laid in the sun to warm and make it straight since it comes in coils.
    While the black polyethylene pipe is warm, use the 8-mm punch to make a hole in the pipe and insert the twist lock. Unscrew the open end of the twist lock and insert it into the end of the drip tape. Insert the end plug and attach with a clamp at one end of the water supply line and the female hose adapter and clamp at the opposite hose end.
    To make a single drip tape line, you’ll need only one half-inch female hose adapter, which attaches to a length of drip tape with a pipe clamp. Additional rows and lines to irrigate them each need a twist lock. They should all be installed in a straight line on the water supply line.
    You may also need more than one water supply line, depending on the scope of your garden.
    I rotate crops every year, so I have three different water supply lines of different length. The water line that supplies water to my corn patch is designed with a row spacing of two and a half feet. For all other crops, I use three-foot row spacing.
    With proper care, both drip tape and water supply lines can be used for many years. Use care with cultivating and hoeing so as not to cut the drip tape. (Damaged Drip Tape can be mended by using twist lock coupling 110738.) Store the lines in a shed or garage when not in use.

Using Your System
    Water is applied in drops under the drip tape, but capillary action will eventually create a band of moist soil from 10 to 18 inches wide under the surface of the soil. Enough water must be applied to penetrate to a depth of six inches before the flow is turned off.
    With this system, the irrigation needs of most vegetable gardens vary from once to twice weekly, depending on heat and wind. Turn on the water before plants wilt.
    When starting to irrigate, turn water on at full capacity and operate the valve at full capacity until all of the drip tapes have been filled and are dripping water. Next, lower the volume of water until the drip tapes at the highest point on the water supply lines begin to have reduced pressure. At this point, if you gently press the drip tape near the water line, it will collapse. Wait a minute or so until all drip tapes appear to be less turgid before walking away.
    Operate the system for at least four hours in sandy soils and six hours in heavy soils.
    By lowering the volume of water entering the supply lines, you are essentially lowering the pressure. The pressure will vary if you are on well water, but the variation will not seriously affect the flow of water through the drip tape.
    To maximize space and use of water, I sow parsnips, carrots, beets and lettuce in double rows 12 inches apart with the drip tape between the rows. I grow my sweet corn in blocks of five rows two and a half feet apart, sowing seeds six to eight inches apart in short rows 10 to 12 feet long. I fold the drip tape at the end of each row immediately after sowing so I am not wasting water by irrigating ground that I have not sown. I use the same method when sowing snap beans.
    When lifting the Drip Tape after the crop has been harvested, try not to stretch it. For storage, I fold it like an accordion and tie with cotton string. When preparing to reuse the drip tape, remove an inch before attaching it to the water supply.

Winter’s constellations are on the way out, while spring’s are here to stay

As the sun sets Thursday evening the waxing crescent moon appears high in the south, its lower tip pointing to the star Aldebaran a few degrees away. Aldebaran is a red-giant that marks the eye of Taurus the bull. Just to the left of the moon is the Hyades cluster, a V-shaped pattern of stars that make up the face of the bull. Higher above the moon is the Pleiades cluster, marking the bull’s shoulder. Named after the seven daughters of Atlas, six of the mythological sisters are visible to the naked eye. How many can you spot?
    Saturday the moon shines near Jupiter, the next-brightest object in the night sky. The Gemini twins Castor and Pollux are above Jupiter, while below the moon is the bright orange star Betelgeuse, the shoulder of Orion. The next night the waxing moon is just a few degrees below Jupiter, well within the field of view of binoculars. Surrounding the moon and Jupiter are the bright stars of the Great Winter Circle (which looks more like a hexagon): Aldebaran, Rigel, Sirius, Procyon, Pollux, Castor and Capella. Within the circle is Orion’s bright-red star Betlegeuse. This is the last month to catch these winter luminaries as they shift to the west and out of sight.
    While Jupiter fades with the stars of winter, Mars is at its prime amid the stars of spring. The red planet appears low in the east at sunset with the blue-white star Spica five or six degrees to its lower right. Mars reaches opposition on the 8th, at which point it rises as the sun sets and does not set until sunrise the next morning. This is its best apparition all year, and only Jupiter and Venus shine brighter.
    Saturn rises in the southeast around 10:30pm, is at its highest in the south around 3am and is low against the southwest horizon at daybreak. The planet is tilted in such a way that its rings are on full display with even a small telescope. The ringed planet is in the middle of Libra and forms a tight triangle with the constellation’s two brightest stars. To the west of Saturn and marking the balance’s fulcrum is Zubenelgenubi, while above the planet and marking the upper scale is Zubeneschamali, which has the distinction of being the only star that glows with a green hue. Not everyone can distinguish the color; can you? Zubenelgenubi is Arabic for the southern claw, while Zubeneschamali translates to the northern claw, namesakes from when these stars were part of the constellation Scorpius.
    The last of the planets visible this week rises before dawn. There is no mistaking Venus above the southeast horizon shining at magnitude –4.5, exponentially brighter than even the brightest star. Venus doesn’t climb very high, but it will hold this position in the early morning through spring and summer.

No competition for the Greatest Story Ever Told

After Cain murdered Abel, humanity fell into two factions: the sons of Cain and the sons of Seth. Marked by his misdeeds, Cain’s descendants are greedy and base. They’ve traded their faith in the creator for a life of sin. Lead by the ruthless Tubal-cain (Ray Winstone: Lords of London), the people of Cain have built industrial cities and violated Earth.
    Seth’s descendants have taken a nobler path, living off the land, taking only what they need and upholding the rules of God. Their path is righteous, but it’s not very successful. Tubal-cain and his men have killed the sons of Seth, ensuring that goodness dies with them.
    Or so the evil king thought. Surviving is one last heir, Noah (Russell Crowe: Winter’s Tale), who has lived in hiding after witnessing the murder of his father. Over the years, Noah has built up a family and lived as the creator dictated. His fealty is rewarded with a vision: God will send a great flood to the world, killing all impure life. Noah’s job is to build a vessel and save innocent life from destruction.
    Over 10 years, Noah and his family construct an ark as animals arrive two by two. But the grand migration of fowls and beasts attracts the attention of Tubal-cain, who is on the lookout for land that isn’t ash. On finding the ark, Tubal-cain organizes an army to take it before the water rises.
    Part environmental parable, part Bible story and part bizarre fantasy epic, Noah is a confused, beautiful mess. Don’t expect the Sunday school story that you remember. Director Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan) gives us stunning visuals and a mixed up story. He has more good ideas than time — or ability — to explore them. The environmental story he begins is forgotten halfway in for CGI technology. Thus Aronofsky falls under the spell of The Watchers, angels who fell to Earth and were punished by having their angelic form covered with rock and molten mud. Neither impressive to look at nor interesting as characters, The Watchers are silly creatures of the type you might enjoy in Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter.
    When Noah pauses from spectacle, it offers some great acting. Crowe — who’s had a questionable run of late — is amazing as a devoted prophet. He imbues Noah with an intensity that teeters on the edge of insanity. As his foil, Winstone’s Tubal-cain believes he is as powerful as God, able to give or take life as he sees fit.
    If you’re interested in a few scenes of interesting Biblical debate or in considering how far computer-rendering technology has come, Noah is worth the price of admission. If you’re looking for deeper meaning, skip a film that wades in shallow waters.

Fair Fantasy • PG-13 • 138 mins.

Can two old geezers find a future past resentment?

For Neil Simon’s The Sunshine Boys, Twin Beach Players reunites the biggest comedy team in Vaudeville for a nostalgic performance of their once-famous Doctor sketch.
    Willie Clark (Jeff Larsen) and Al Lewis (Tom Wines) were the act to catch for 43 years. But 11 years ago, Al walked out, leaving Willie to hold the bag of gags.
    Now, in their golden years, CBS asks them to reunite in a show that pays reverence to the great comic stars through the years. It’s a second chance in a lifetime, but resentment — and tension — get in the way. Clark’s nephew and agent (Tom Weaver) has to figure out a way to get the two geezers to bury the hatchet and pull off the television show.
    Mayhem ensues when Clark ­nearly dies trying. His heart attack keeps the double-trouble duo out of the television show.
    Fate has another plan for them: living together in relative peace and performing their acts in a retired actors’ home.
    Opening night brought not only the old boys but also new comfort to the theater’s small venue at North Beach Boys and Girls Club. Thanks to Twin Beach master carpenter Justyn Christofel, the audience looks down on the action from moveable-bleachers.
    But play-goers didn’t fill the bleachers or help keep the Sunshine Boys’ uptempo.
    Highlights — like the Doctor sketch rehearsal for a CBS television show and the scene where the boys threaten each other with dagger and cane — bring comic relief to a play slow to take off in Act 1. Act 2 regains momentum as the old boys regain their old timing.

Aidan Davis as Eddie; Staci Most as Vaudeville Nurse; Samantha Wadsworth as Nurse. Director and production designer: Sid Curl. Assistant director and stage manager: Donna Bennett. Costume designer: Dawn Denison. Music designer: Bob Snider. Setting and make-up designer: Wendy Cranford. Lighting tech assistant: Katherine Willham. Lighting and sound board operator: Camden Raines. Audience design: Richard Keefe Jr. Promotions and advertising: Viv Petersen and Philomena Gorenflo. House management: Lynda Collins and Viv Petersen.
Playing FSa 8pm; Su 3pm thru April 13 at North Beach Boys and Girls Club, North Beach. $12 w/discounts: 410-286-1890; www.twinbeachplayers.com.

See it, and Shakespeare lives

Shakespeare’s plays are still being performed 400 years after they were created because they were brilliantly written but also because their themes are timeless.
    Not every theater company that takes on Shakespeare can live up to the Bard’s talent and intent, moving beyond the page to vitalize his characters, prose and situations. But when Shakespeare is done well, his stories jump off the page and into our consciousness, demanding our attention and forcing us not just to understand but also to feel what his characters are feeling, and why.
    So it is with Annapolis Shakespeare Company’s Hamlet. Beautifully realized, stylistically and brilliantly transposed into the current day, this Hamlet is a tour de force, a masterwork for the company. Director and set and sound designer Sally Boyett, the company’s producing artistic director, has earned a reputation for her economical yet transformative use of the Bowie Playhouse stage. This production furthers that reputation. From the huge gilded frames that hang from a dark sky to the sacrifice of a few house seats in favor of a platform that thrusts the actors almost halfway into the audience, this is an impressively aesthetic production.
    Boyett’s haunting and ethereal sound and Paul Collins’ often eerie lighting accompany our journey through Hamlet’s madness and his thirst for revenge. Maggie Cason’s costumes, mostly muted grays but with a touch of blood-red seemingly everywhere, remind us that madness, revenge and betrayal are not only to be found in Shakespeare’s time.
    Of course, none of this matters if the acting and direction do not achieve the same standards, and here both are surpassing. Every one of our community theater actors and directors would benefit from attending at least one of Annapolis Shakespeare’s productions, especially this one, because the dedication and commitment to character, to dialect, to pacing and to clarity are unsurpassed.
    Manu Kumasi’s Hamlet is stellar, the fire and humor coming not just from the staccato delivery of his lines but blasting from his every pore. His physicality seems to envelop the theater, especially when he ascends to the end of that aforementioned platform and with sheer passion imposes his world onto ours, his fiery eyes just feet away from ours, boring directly into us and gripping us with his madness.
    Likewise, Audrey Bertaux brings us an Ophelia whose own tragic fall into madness could have been over the top in less capable hands. Instead, we are drawn into the character’s decline and feel pity for the way Hamlet projects his anger toward his mother onto her.
    Nafeesa Monroe as Gertrude and Paul Edward Hope as Claudius lead the rest of the company, several of whom very effectively play multiple roles. From Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Horatio to Polonius and all the rest you read about in school, this is Shakespeare at his best, flying off the pages and brought to life in a production whose superlative whole is far greater than the sum of its very excellent parts.

Producer: Kristen Clippard. Stage manager: Monica Jones. Dialect coach: Nancy Krebs.
Playing thru April 13. Th 7pm, F 8pm, Sa 2pm & 8pm, Su 3pm at the Bowie Playhouse, White Marsh Park Park. $24/$20: 410-415-3513; www.annapolisshakespeare.org.

Trophy-size fish arriving daily

Very large migratory stripers are arriving in the mid-Bay, setting the scene for the opening of Trophy Rockfish Season in just two weeks. Big-fish anglers — sports who are willing to spend 10 frigid hours or more at a stretch jigging for a single photo op with just one enormous cow — are posting pics of multiple big fish caught and released from The Rips at the Calvert Cliffs nuclear power plant up to the warm water discharge at the mouth of the Patapsco.
    Despite grim news last year from the Atlantic States Marine Fisheries Commission of a 25 percent decline in overall striped bass stocks, the Chesapeake, especially the mid-Bay, experienced a striper-fishing bonanza last season. Devoted fishers are hoping for a repeat this year.
    Scuttlebutt overheard from commercial netters over the winter indicates an unusually big population of larger-than-average fish holding on wintering grounds in the mid-Bay. We are all hoping these fish will remain with us, especially at the beginning of the season.
    Two weeks from now, we’ll get on the water officially and settle all the conjecture. Finally, the cold we’ve complained about the last two months will be working in our favor. There’s a better than good chance that the low temps have delayed this season’s spawn, which will in turn keep more big fish in the area longer.
    Early on, big trolling lures such as parachutes with nine- to 12-inch soft shad in the traditional colors of white, yellow and chartreuse, will compete with the more trendy hues like John Deere green, sparkle purple and jet black. Whatever the color, the big rigs should be dragged to tempt the giants.
    Umbrellas, chandeliers and other multiple-lure setups that create lots of water noise and disturbance to attract big fish remain popular — and work well. Big fish? Big bait. The old mantra is as true today as ever.
    The best areas to troll this time of year are the deep-water channels that the migrating stripers tend to use (the tides are stronger) to come up the Bay (usually on the eastern side) and to leave (usually on the western side). Of course, choosing which side to fish is not so simple when you also have to take into account wind direction, forage fish location, time of year, time of day and boat traffic. The only rules that don’t change are to fish the warmer top 15 feet of the water column (unless there’s heavy boat traffic, then fish deep) and always plot a zigzag course to cover more water.
    Chumming with bait fishing was once uncommon during the trophy season but is gaining adherents every year. One reason is that it lets anglers tangle with really big fish using lighter tackle. Another reason is it has been surprisingly effective
    Most boat anglers fish the channel edges and set their baits (fresh menhaden is best) on the bottom. Others will fish some of their baits shallow, under floats, or at intermediate depths with little weight. There is a strong belief that stripers found up off of the bottom in springtime are traveling and not eating. But you can never tell.
    Quite a fishery has also evolved over the last few years off of the beaches of Sandy Point and the pier at Matapeake State Park, where anglers using bloodworms and fishing long surf rods to get their baits out away from the shoreline have been scoring great catches (for release) from mid-March through mid-April, especially before dawn and after dark. The opening of trophy season means they’ll finally be able to keep one fish if it’s over 28 inches.
    The most important aspect of both chumming and bait fishing from shore is using circle hooks. The odds of catching a throwback (under 28 inches) are very great this time of year. Half of all released deep-hooked fish of any size die within two hours, an extensive DNR study has found. Every angler should use circle hooks to keep from gut-hooking these fish.

Expert advice at no charge — and expert help to restore your home and garden

If your home and garden look like mine, we both need help.
    Winter 2013-’14 has kept us on the defensive, fending off its blows. There’ve been drafts to keep out, fires to keep burning, limbs to duck, snow to shovel, salt to spread, ice to scrape, birds to feed, falls to heal, floods to staunch, floors to mop … and that’s just my list. I bet you can add a lot more.
    Keeping winter from knocking you down takes just about everything you’ve got. Progress is just keeping up.
    Then, when the glacier recedes, you see the mess it’s left behind. Paint scraped, trees gnarled, shrubs mangled, mud amuck, tire tracks embedded, pansies flattened, only the occasional crocus to color the scene winter’s made. Raking and renewing becomes a primal drive. Plans bloom like the coming spring. This, I tell myself, is the year of my ideal garden. No more false starts and wrong turns. This year I’m going to get it together. Call in the landscaper. Bring on the housepainter. Seek out the power washer. Who knows a tree trimmer?
    And that’s just outside.
    Inside, home has the damp, dim feel of a cave. It’s time to air and scrub, paint the walls that look so dingy in the light of spring and hang fresh curtains, store the furnishings of winter away and change the season, carry out the lawn furniture, fire up the grill and hope for warm days.
    Can you fit it all in your evenings and weekends?
    As you reclaim your home and garden from winter’s ravages, there are people who can help you.
    When you want help getting a job done, these Bay Weekly advertisers are the people I hope you’ll turn to.
    I say so for good reasons.
    First, they’re the people who bring you Bay Weekly. Without the support of their advertising, there would be no paper in your hands. Your business is the thanks we can give them together.
    The second good reason: They get the job done. They’ve been tried, tested and approved by many of us on the Bay Weekly staff.
    The third good reason: They’ve got answers, you and I have questions — and Bay Weekly knows the way to bring the two together. If you garden or even grow houseplants, you already know that Dr. Frank Gouin, the Bay Gardener, will answer any question you ask him. Expert advice at no charge is the third good reason to read on and make the acquaintance of the home and garden helpers featured in these pages.
    The deal is so good that I’ll say it again, repeating my introduction to Bay Weekly’s Home and Garden Service Directory, the special 16 pages inside this week’s paper:
    Through Bay Weekly, you can turn to these experts for answers to your questions.
    Whatever you want to know, ask. I’ll pass your questions along to the right expert for answers. Then I’ll send the advice to you. Finally, I’ll share it with all our readers in our next Home and Garden Guide.
    We’re waiting to hear from you: editor@bayweekly.com.

Sandra Olivetti Martin
Editor and publisher; editor@bayweekly.com

A delightfully demented tale of murder, theft and the service industry

As the concierge of The Grand Budapest Hotel, M. Gustave (Ralph Fiennes: The Invisible Woman) believes in offering his guests the best service. In the case of wealthy older women, Gustave’s services include wine, candlelight dinners and himself. The women get a boost in confidence; Gustave gets cash and returning customers.
    Among the hotel staff, Gustave is a legend. Suave, mysterious and unflappable, he runs the hotel with an uncompromising commitment to its patrons. He recites romantic poetry at staff dinners, insists on high standards of conduct for his subordinates, bathes in his favorite cologne and is involved in even the minute details of daily life at the Grand Budapest. This dashing figure enchants Zero (Tony Revolori: Shameless), the hotel’s newest lobby boy. Never one to turn down a fawning admirer, Gustave takes Zero under his wing.
    When one of Gustave’s regular paramours, octogenarian Duchess, drops dead, Gustave and Zero travel to the funeral to pay respects. Hoping for a few thousand dollars from the will, Gustave instead is awarded a priceless painting. Her family is not pleased.
    Police are called, accusations are thrown and the Duchess is eventually discovered to have been poisoned. Son Dmitri (Adrien Brody: Third Person) frames Gustave and sends his henchman (Willem Dafoe: Out of the Furnace) for the painting.
    The Grand Budapest Hotel is a madcap comedy fusing dark violent themes with light quirky sensibilities. In director Wes Anderson’s (Moonrise Kingdom) quirky aesthetic, characters are notoriously nonplussed by the whirlwind of crazy events around them. A severed head is usually a gruesome sight. Put that head in a wicker picnic basket with a ribbon and some festive tissue paper, as Anderson does, and it becomes a macabre joke. Anderson’s sensibility isn’t for everyone, but his world of stylish lunacy is a refreshing change from typical fare.
    As the center of the film’s twisting narrative, Fiennes is a wonder to behold. Dapper even in prison rags and suave to a fault, he’s the Cary Grant of concierges. His manic energy is fascinating as he wrings every bit of charm out of a role that makes him a lecherous jerk.
    Supporting Fiennes is Anderson’s typical cast of character actors, including Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Jason Schwartzman and Adrian Brody. In small parts, each contributes to the controlled chaos. The standout is Dafoe, who manages to be utterly terrifying and hilarious as he murders his way through the movie.
    Funny, slightly gruesome but always entertaining, The Grand Budapest Hotel is a decadent treat.

Great Dramedy • R • 100 mins.