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My model is good enough for the National Botanical Garden

The purpose of rain gardens is to reduce surface runoff by capturing water in ponds where it can infiltrate the soil. Many rain gardens begin with dug ponds lined with sand and gravel. Water-tolerant plants added in and around the ponds absorb more water.
    This design can absorb only a limited amount of water based on the soil porosity, a measure of texture and compaction. After a heavy rain, water can stand for days and weeks, so the gardens become breeding grounds for mosquitoes. Even tolerant plant species have problems surviving standing water.
    There’s also a septic smell to some newly constructed rain gardens. The odor is caused by soils containing more than three percent organic matter, which is typical with a manufactured medium with compost blended in. When soils and materials rich in organic matter are water-logged, they undergo anaerobic digestion, resulting in odor.

Getting It Right
    A well-designed and constructed rain garden should not retain water for more than a couple of days and should promote the growth of plants tolerant to wet soil conditions. Soil for its bottom should contain only well decomposed organic matter, not freshly made compost.
    Here’s how to meet both those goals.
    Water absorbing capacity can be significantly increased by either auguring holes in the bottom of the rain garden during construction or by trenching.
    If the rain garden is big enough to accommodate a power trencher, trenches four feet wide and up to four feet deep should be dug at 18- to 24-inch intervals across the bottom of the pond.
    Fill trenches with pine fines in 12-inch lifts. Pack the pine fines using a eight-foot four-by-four timber between each lift until the trenches are filled. Finally, place a covering of sand or gravel over the bottom of the pond.
    In small ponds, augur four- to 10-inch diameter holes spaced about 18 inches apart to a depth of three to four feet. Fill the holes with pine fines in 12-inch lifts and packed similarly. Cover the bottom as above.
    Pine fines are the fine particles that collect in the manufacture of pine bark mulch. They contain 100 percent lignins, which resist decomposition. When buried deep in the soil and covered with sand or gravel, they will not generate odors. Pine fines are also a rich source of humic and fulvic acids. Both of these naturally occurring acids will help loosen the soil, allowing it to absorb more water. Further, the pine fines will serve as a wick, pulling water down where it can be better absorbed.
    Augering or trenching deep into the sub-soil greatly increases its absorbing capacity. This system also increases the surface area and water-absorbing capacity of the soil.
    To accommodate plants in the pond, place a four- to six-inch layer of a sandy loam soil with two to three percent natural organic matter over the layer of sand or gravel. Never amend the soil with perlite or vermiculite. Perlite will deteriorate into slime after several years of freezing and thawing. Vermiculite flattens into plate-like particles in only six to eight months after they have absorbed water.
    I have used this system many times and never had a failure. The largest project I was involved in was the National Botanic Garden at the base of Capital Hill in Washington, D.C. Following heavy rains, the existing water gardens overflowed into the gardens. To increase the water garden’s ability to absorb more water, we augered 10-inch holes in the bottom to a depth of five feet at 24-inch intervals. The holes were packed and the bottom covered with gravel as described.


Apologies to Flint, Michigan

    In my June 29 column, The Poop on Biosolids, I wrote “Unless the biosolids come from Flint, Michigan, the lead levels in Class A biosolids are far below EPA standards in Compro, Orgro and Earthlife. The same is true for cadmium.”
    A Bay Weekly online reader in Flint who is knowledgeable about the biosolids has corrected me. He has assured me that Flint is generating Class A biosolids. The assumption that I made was based on the research I did with biosolids from Baltimore in the late 1970s before Mayor Schaffer cleaned up the sewer system. I apologize for making that assumption.


Ask The Bay Gardener your questions at DR.FRGouin@gmail.com. Include your name and address.

That’s a question for Congressman Andy Harris

The sturgeon is not the star of Chesapeake ­osteichthyes, the bony fish of the world. That limelight falls on striped bass, the rockfish.
    Atlantic sturgeon — finning around the bottom of rivers sucking up aquatic macroinvertebrates, freshwater mussels, snails, crustaceans and small fish — barely make the cast of characters.
    They don’t make anglers’ hearts race in anticipation of fight and feast. As Atlantic sturgeon are an endangered species, you couldn’t catch one even if you wanted to. And you probably wouldn’t, though in colonial times they were much eaten, for flesh and roe.
    They are not pretty. Atlantic sturgeon and all their brethren have long snouts, whiskers and saurian rows of spines. Evolved with the earliest dinosaurs, they still get awfully big, ours up to 14 feet and 800 pounds; others bigger still. They live for decades, taking time slowly. The males don’t reach reproductive maturity until they are at least five years old, females perhaps three times that.
    But they’re ours. Atlantic sturgeon have been returning to their natal Chesapeake rivers to spawn since who knows when, in ever decreasing numbers.
    Thus our environmental protectors both state and federal are invested in saving what sturgeon we have and encouraging more.
    At the state level, sturgeon are raised in hatcheries and in captivity in hopes of re-populating the species.
    At the federal level, designating some Bay rivers — and  stretches of Atlantic coast all the way up to Maine — as Critical Habitat would give these ancient fish more protection.
    Miles of red tape are involved in achieving Critical Habitat designation, which then promises broad protection: “the use of, all methods and procedures which are necessary to bring any endangered species or threatened species to the point at which the measures provided pursuant to this Act are no longer necessary.”
    Finally, and with plenty of public comment time, sturgeon critical habitat protection has come to our national Congress.
    There, Maryland Congressman Andy Harris is prohibiting funding sturgeon Critical Habitat anywhere in the Chesapeake Bay watershed as “an unnecessary and burdensome regulation.”
    The House Appropriations Committee has adopted the amendment Harris calls — without explanation — “a victory for both the conservation of the Bay and the Eastern Shore’s economy.”
    There goes sturgeon Critical Habitat protection, killed by a congressman whose district, the First, surrounds the Chesapeake on Maryland’s eastern and northern sides and encompasses all of the Eastern Shore.
    We interviewed Harris when he first ran for Congress, back in 2010, and part of Anne Arundel County was in his district. Lately, he’s said he’s interested in hearing only from people in his remapped district. More lately still, he’s shied away from public meetings even with his voting public.
    So he’s unlikely to answer the question that logically flows from his amendment: Congressman, what have you got against sturgeon?

Sandra Olivetti Martin
Editor and publisher
email editor@bayweekly.com, www.sandraolivettimartin.com

It’s not all peanuts and mints for the Naval Academy’s Bill the Goat

The Naval Academy’s mascot is a fighting goat. That goat’s name is Bill, after a pet kept by the first president of the Naval Academy Athletic Association. The emblematic mascot is fashioned after the actual animal as embodied over the years by more than 37 goats. The first goat was only a skin, the remainder of a loved ship goat, and worn by naval officers as they danced for the crowd during halftime.
    Since 1893, Bill has been a living goat who embodies the fighting spirit and tenacity of the Navy. To find that mascot, the Naval Academy took out a newspaper ad reading “WANTED: The meanest and fiercest goat possible …”
    Today Bill is not one goat but three, all white Angoras that weigh about 200 pounds at maturity.
    The Bills’ whereabouts are kept secret because of repeated kidnappings, typically by the rivals at West Point.
    Even the identity of Bill the Goat’s caretakers — who “are chosen because of their great love for these animals,” says U.S. Naval Academy Superintendent Walter E. ‘Ted’ Carter — is kept a secret as part of a great tradition.
    Yet I managed to get a glimpse into that mysterious world in an impromptu exclusive interview with a caretaker who’s name we’ve ommitted for the safety of all concerned.


Bay Weekly Which goat is the most trouble?

Bill Caretaker    The blue-eyed goat, No. 33, is the naughtiest.


Bay Weekly What is Bill’s typical lifespan?

Bill Caretaker    Twelve years.


Bay Weekly How did current goats, Nos. 33, 34, 36 and 37, come to the U.S. Naval Academy?

Bill Caretaker    Bills 33 and 34 were donated by a farm in Pennsylvania and are now retired. Bills 36 and 37 are gifts from the Texas family of an army helicopter pilot, who wished he’d gone to Navy. They are now the active Bills.


Bay Weekly Tell us an interesting fact about the goats’ home life.

Bill Caretaker    The Bills are kind of like dogs. Because we get them so young, they like to follow you around and love attention. The Bills also enjoy snacking on peanuts and mints.


Learn more about Bill at the new exhibit in the Naval Academy Visitor Center, established in honor of all the past Bills but in particular the late Bill 35 whose blanket is framed and on display.

Bringing the Book of Matthew to Life

Godspell was originally a college project by the show’s author, John-Michael Tebalak, then a student at Carnegie-Mellon in Pittsburgh. Another student, Steven Schwartz, was brought in later to add a score, which of course includes such musical staples as Day By Day and Light of the World. Debuting off-Broadway in 1971, Godspell was a smash. It still is all these years later because of its simple staging, relatively uncomplicated music and the universal and timeless message of the Book of Matthew.

Given its youthful heritage, it might be a bit surprising to see that some of the cast members in Pasadena Theater Company’s lively production are almost twice the age Jesus was when he died. However, Godspell is a play about community as much as anything else, and community is ageless, as are the parables from the Book of Matthew with which Jesus teaches his charges. The 10 people assembled by director Chuck Dick are indeed a community, and this cast’s energy and commitment make us in the audience feel a part of that community as well.

Comedy is at the core of the first act. A more sober undertone of betrayal and resurrection shadows the second. Both work well because of the talented cast, a tight band and that simple staging.

Every Godspell needs an effective Jesus, one around whom the crazies can orbit, and John Andrew Rose provides just the right amount of wisdom and calm to anchor this production. He delivers his lessons with obvious love, sings his numbers with a strong, clear voice and is as adept at laughing along with his small community of followers as he is making us feel the searing pain of his crucifixion.

As John the Baptist, and later Judas, Frank Antonio is a strong presence, especially animated when he is forced to betray Jesus after accepting 30 pieces of silver to do so. Antonio’s bit of mime as Judas feels trapped in the box he has built for himself is particularly touching.

The rest of the cast each have their individual moments, from Joe Rose’s emotional and soaring All Good Gifts, to Lindsey Miller’s crystalline soprano on the rocking Bless the Lord, to Christy Stouffer’s faithful rendition of the hit Day By Day.

When Jesus and John the Baptist join together in the soft-shoe number All for the Best, we can tell we’re hearing something special, even though the band often overwhelms the two, especially Antonio’s double time diatribe about the rich as it patters alongside Jesus’ straight time. In such an intimate setting, one would hope that these issues can be ironed out, because too many words of too many songs get drowned out. The people who wrote these words, whether in biblical times or in the early ’70s, chose them carefully in this play to make a point. That point shouldn’t be blunted by unbalanced sound.

The occasional use of a microphone helps in some spots, but occasional use probably needs to be upped to almost regular use in the case of some soloists, especially when members of the band sing the beautiful and haunting In the Willows. The microphone is right there, on a stand, ready and waiting to be used. Might as well use it because it’s a song whose lyrics are as beautiful as the music.

Sound technicalities aside, this is a talented group who work together seamlessly, truly representing what Tebalak had in mind when he wrote the play: community. That’s something we need more of these days, and the timelessness of Jesus’ teachings is brought to life beautifully here, and will touch you regardless of your religious, philosophical or political leanings.


About 2 hours 30 minutes with one intermission. Costumes: Christy Stouffer and cast. Music director: Tom Jackson. Choreographer: Jason Kimmell.

Thru July 23: FSa 8pm, Su 3pm, Pasadena Theatre Company, Humanities Recital Hall, AACC, Arnold, $20 w/discounts, rsvp: www.PTCShows.com.

A love story so funny it has to be true

Kumail (Kumail Nanjiani: Silicon Valley) is trying to live both American and Pakistani dreams. His parents want him to be a devout Muslim, choose an honorable profession like the law and agree to an arranged marriage with a nice Pakistani woman. Kumail pretends to buy into these goals, but his dream is making a living as a comedian.
    When Kumail meets Emily (Zoe Kazan: The Monster) at a club, he is smitten. They date, though Kumail knows that if his parents learn his secret, he’ll be disowned. Then Emily’s illness forces Kumail to reevaluate his double life.
    Heartfelt, hilarious and beautifully performed, The Big Sick is a near-perfect romantic comedy. Kazan and Nanjiani are both likeable performers, so even when they make terrible decisions, we want them to succeed. Director Michael Showalter (Grace and Frankie) blends the romantic storyline seamlessly with Kumail’s comic review of the conflicting messages of his upbringing. Standup darlings Bo Burnham and Aidy Bryant pop up with great supporting performances.
    It helps that the story is true.
    Najiani wrote the script with his wife, Emily V. Gordon, who really did fall into a coma while they were dating. Yes, this news gives away this story’s ending. But starry-eyed endings are not what this movie is about. See it to learn how a man comes to balance familial and romantic love as Kumail falls in love not only with Emily but also with her parents.
    Conflicts are handled deftly and without villains. Kumail’s parents want what they believe is best for him. Kumail loves them, even when he disappoints them.
    The Big Sick is both full of heart and uproariously funny.

Great Romantic Comedy • R • 120 mins.

Vertical Mulching and Tree Roots

Q    I enjoy your articles. Recently you’ve written about trees & Bloom.
    I have two chestnut oaks that now have slime flux. Do you think your method would help these trees? I have called forestry schools, and they tell me I can’t do anything. Commercial tree companies want to sell me a fertilizing service for $1,000 with no guarantee.
    Would drilling at three feet cut through and damage the roots? I have about 20 of these oaks and all have shown some stress the last few years. I wouldn’t want to hurt their roots.
    Do they sell Bloom in the Annapolis area? Or is there some substitute?

–Dave Bastian

A Making the tree healthy is the best treatment for curing slime flux. Vertical mulching with Bloom ASAP will stimulate those chestnut oaks to generate new growth, which will result in compartmentalizing the region in the trunks that is generating the slime flux.
    I vertical mulched using compost on my own cherry bark oak tree here in Deale 25 years ago when we moved here, and within two years the slime flux stopped. I drilled six-inch diameter holes. Don’t worry about damaging roots. If you hit the roots with the auger, the tree will generate new roots from the damaged area. When a tree is dug, balled and burlapped, the tree loses 80 percent of its roots, and it recovers.
    I have vertically mulched my 200-year-old cherry bark oak five times, and it is healthier than ever.
    Bloom is sold at Homestead Gardens in Davidsonville.


Girdling Ivy Kills Trees

Q    I enjoyed your vertical mulching article in Bay Weekly. I have two large silver maples and another mature tree. Vines have almost completely covered them, and I wanted to know if this is harmful and should I remove it. I imagine it would damage the bark to just rip the vines off after they’ve gotten so attached. And the deep vines up in the trees do provide habitat for birds and squirrels. But if it’s killing the tree, then I guess I need to take action.

–Rich Kavanagh, Deale

A The silver maple is a short-lived tree. Yes, I have seen over the years where English ivy has killed trees. This will occur if the vines completely circle the trunk and you can see the bark of the tree growing over the vine. It kills the tree by girdling.  If the vines are mostly growing straight up the tree, like many do, it is not a problem. From the looks of the top growth visible in the picture you sent, it appears that the new growth is sparse, which means that the vines appear to be girdling the trunk.


Replacing a Silver Maple

Q    We have sadly watched a large silver maple die over the past few years. It was probably about 50 years old and the source of a plague of box elder bugs. We are having it removed soon and need to know a good replacement. Also, will we have to wait to see if there is any disease or bugs in the soil that could infest a new tree?
    Do you have any suggestions for a quick-growing shade tree? We are thinking honey locust or dogwood. Our home is in Upper Marlboro.
    We really enjoy your column. Thank you for your advice.

–Leda Kress, Upper Marlboro

A Most fast-growing trees such as silver maple have short lives. However, the Shade Master honey locust is a fast-growing cultivar that has a relatively long lifespan.
    The box elder bug only feeds on female box elder maple trees. We have lots of box elder maples growing in this region. I doubt very much if the bug caused the death of your tree. Silver maple trees are prone to fusarium wilt, which may have been the problem. Since it has had a slow death, I strongly suspect that your tree was infected and you need not worry that it will affect the Shade Master locust.


Ask The Bay Gardener your questions at DR.FRGouin@gmail.com. Please include your name and address.

When the days are too hot, try the hours before midnight

The temperature in the low 70s seemed cool after the scorching sun, just a few hours ago, had sent the mercury into the high 90s. The multitudes of motorized craft churning the waters had long ago headed for home. I had the spot to myself, a rather surreal feeling in the silence and darkness.
    I motored slowly into position and lowered my Power Pole anchor firmly into the bottom on the spot I had marked on my GPS. As my skiff swung stern to on the freshening tidal current, I relaxed, reached for my casting rod and fingered the swimming plug rigged earlier that evening. Carefully, I made my way to the bow.
    At 10pm, the waning quarter moon threw little light. But I had fished here often and knew exactly where I was located. I was anchored in four feet of water over the remnants of a jetty reduced by years of relentless storms and currents that swept by the prominent point.
    Surrounding depths reached five to six feet in most places, but I had chosen a shallow-running lure because I intended to target another inundated jetty well down current. It rose up to about three feet under the surface, creating a nice rip occasionally but barely visible in the meager light.
    I knew from experience that rockfish would stage just below that jetty to pick off baitfish swept along and disoriented by the swirling waters cresting the rocks below. The questions that night were two: Would they show up after the disruptions of the daytime boat traffic? If so, just what sections of the long jetty would they prefer?
    I had only an hour and a half to complete my quest, since possession of a striped bass on the water is illegal after midnight, and I needed at least a half-hour to get back to the ramp.
    Casting my plug out about 30 degrees crosscurrent, I let the lure swing, the tidal pull giving it all the action it needed. As my line straightened below me, I pulsed the lure one time, then cranked it back in a slow, steady retrieve.
    Working the rip methodically, I targeted first one area, then another. If the fish were there, would they show up in time? The clock was ticking. If I was to secure a dinner for the next evening, it would have to be soon.
    On the fourth or fifth cast, I can’t really remember, I felt my line stop, then surge out, pulling my rod tip down almost to the gunnel. Lifting smartly, I set the hook and felt a good fish begin its run. Lifting my rod high to keep the line clear of the sunken jetty’s rocks, I was alarmed to feel the grating vibrations of contact.
    Thankfully I was using braided line, which is much more forgiving than mono. Still, one sharp edge and I could kiss the fish and my expensive lure adios.
    The fish continued to take out line against my lightly set drag. I relaxed as its distance from the jetty increased and my line’s contact with the rocks ceased.
    It ran off well to one side as I applied extra pressure with my thumb, lifting, reeling and working the fish gradually to the side of the boat. In poor light I could glimpse a solid swirl from time to time as it neared me. I groped for the net.
    Eventually I led the fat rascal in and brought it over the side. I didn’t have to measure it to determine if it was a keeper. It was a heavy one. Pulling out my small flashlight rigged with a red lens so that my night vision wouldn’t be compromised, I removed the plug from its jaw.
    Burying the handsome fish in the ice, I double-checked my rig for any tangles or line fouling and prepared to cast again.
    A few casts later to the same spot brought a virtual twin of the first.
    As I judged that I had tempted the fates enough that evening, I headed back in with plenty of time to make curfew. At the ramp I was still totally alone. That’s a real rarity in the summer, unless you play in the dark.

It’s a big production

No matter how times keep changing, people keep getting married.
    Bay Weekly went to two last weekend, for a total of six so far this year. July also brought the news that our junior reporter from two decades ago, Ariel Brumbaugh, got engaged, so I’m anticipating an invitation for a date yet to be determined. Were I to count the number of love stories touching Bay Weekly over our 24-plus years, I’d run out of fingers and maybe even toes. I haven’t heard of any second-generation weddings yet, but I know some children-of getting close to eligibility.
    There may be other businesses that have a more reliable stream of customers than the wedding business, but writing — or reading — about them wouldn’t be as much fun.
    Modern weddings are dreams come true. Brides and grooms nowadays become producers of a show as complex as a Golden Age Broadway musical — with smart and well-stocked entrepreneurs cooperating to make it just right.
    As to the stage itself — well, the whole world is, potentially, your wedding chapel. Church, courthouse and family back yard are forever fashionable, but they’re no longer inevitable. Here in Chesapeake Country, many a charmed vista has sights on your wedding. Crab house to hotel, park to winery, marina to historic mansion — even the Town of North Beach courts you. Pastoral scenery, historic halls, the maritime music of sails in the wind, spectacular sunsets: All are included in the package. Imagine the field trips you can have checking them all out.
    Good as Chesapeake Country is the world can be your altar. The honeymoon often begins with the wedding nowadays, sweeping not only bride and groom but also family and many friends off to exotic destinations for days of fun in the sun or urban adventuring. Travel agents you’ll read about in these pages pledge to help you plan your wedding just about anywhere on the seven seas or continents. Locations you used to have to be an explorer to see, now host your wedding. Places you used to have to be privileged to enter, now invite you in. If the Sistine Chapel isn’t open to weddings yet, maybe yours can be the first.
    Exotic or close at hand, the stage must be set. Did you know that a whole class of businesses exists just to furnish your set in any way you want it? You can hire not only tables and chairs but also entire themed rooms of furnishings. You can have linens in any style, and not only for tables but also for flourishes. Tableware, glasses and dishes are all matters you can dictate on your one special day.
    What to put on those plates? Whatever you like best.
    Cakes are a category all their own in taste and appearance.
    Then, of course, there’s entertainiment …
    Yet we haven’t even touched on the actors, especially the starring roles, whose dress and pampering is nowadays what used to be reserved for queenly courts.
    Yes, weddings are a production, and this issue is here to help you make yours the best you can imagine.
    But we’re not writing for just you brides and grooms. Bay Weekly’s Wedding Guide makes good reading no matter what your stage. It’s good luck to see a bride, so all those brides and grooms who’ve sent us their wedding photos will more than cheer your heart. If you’ve been one yourself, their images will bring back memories. If being a bride or groom is in your future, this Guide will help you (you, too, Ariel and Patrick) make memories.

Sandra Olivetti Martin
Editor and publisher
email editor@bayweekly.com, www.sandraolivettimartin.com

After three tries, Marvel gets it right

Peter Parker (Tom Holland: The Lost City of Z) hoped his internship with Stark Industries would lead to more excitement than neighborhood watch duty. The high-schooler is recruited by Ironman Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.: Captain America: Civil War), to fight against Captain America, then sent back to school and allowed to use his new powers, and his neat Stark-industry suit, only to stop small crimes.
    After fighting superheroes, Parker gets no thrill from AP Chemistry.
    Strong enough to stop a car with his bare hands, smart enough to create a tensile web that can hold his weight or immobilize a bad guy, the teen chafes. He ditches class to hunt for big criminals.
    His mistake is choosing a weapons dealer who is combining alien technology with human artillery. The firepower is deadly, and so is the dealer,
Adrian Toomes (Michael Keaton: The Founder).
    Should Parker have gotten his learner’s permit before taking on a supervillain?
    The latest addition to the Marvel comic pantheon features a likeable lead who plays a believable teen — plus action, humor and heart.
    At this point, you probably know that Parker was bitten by a spider. If you’ve read the comics or watched the movies, you’ve seen it happen. In a smart decision, director Jon Watts (Cop Car) spares you seeing it again.
    Casting is excellent. As Parker, Holland is the first Spider-Man in two decades who is both physically right for the role of a teenage boy with superpowers and actor enough to make the teen likeable. Holland communicates Peter’s decency and childish over-eagerness in ways that make his poor choices understandable, even endearing.
    As the foe Peter must face to become a real hero, Keaton turns in a great performance. Marvel villains tend to be one-dimensional, with only vague motivation for their misdeeds. Watts and Keaton craft a more complex adversary. Toomes begins as a decent man who out of desperation turns to crime. He is both charming and menacing as he spars with Holland.
    Spider-Man: Homecoming is the rare origin story that pleases both comic book novices and persnickety fans. It took Marvel three tries to hit on the perfect tone for Peter Parker.

Great Superhero Movie • PG-13 • 133 mins.

More than one long tease

Meet Hot Metal, an amateur stripper revue featuring six unemployed steelworkers desperate to make a buck in Buffalo. The Chippendales they ain’t — with average dance moves and less than average abs — but that’s just the thong, er thing. Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do to keep body, soul and family together.

            The Full Monty, playing for the next three weekends at the Annapolis Summer Garden Theater, is based on the British film whose everyman cast was a breakout hit in 1997. It enjoyed a two-year run on Broadway in the early 2000s, then, ironically, closed before the economy tanked and the story gained a whole new level of plausibility.

            Jerry (Eric Hufford) is a loveable fu@!-up, separated from his wife Pam (Kaitlin Fish) and desperate to retain joint-custody of their teen, Nathan (Matthew Beagan). For that to happen he needs cash assets fast; only Walmart is hiring, and they don’t pay $hit. His buddy (Dean Allen Davis) Dave’s  marriage to Georgie (Cara Marie Pellegrino) is likewise limping along.

            In a flash of inspiration, they decide to emulate a local act the ladies adore, Keno, aka Buddy (Paul Pesnell) the buff boytoy.

            Their first recruit is Malcolm (Christian Gonzalez), sole support of his invalid mother Molly (Stephanie Bernholz), and in the midst of trying to commit suicide when they recruit him in the hilarious Big Ass Rock, a litany of the ways in which his newfound friends can help him accomplish the deed.

             Next is Ethan (Justin Thomas Ritchie), a naive optimist bent on replicating Donald O’Connor’s unconventional wall-walking from Singing in the Rain.

            They find their choreographer in a ballroom dance class. Harold (Brandon Deitrick), a former boss who is polishing his Latin moves for a Puerto Rican vacation with wife Vickie (Caitlyn Ruth McClellan), who is unaware he’s been laid off.

            Noah, aka Horse (Willie Baker), is an oldster who dazzles with some smooth moves from his youth in the terrific ensemble number Big Black Man.

            Jeanette (Adam Timko) is their tough-as-nail-polish accompanist and mentor, an old trouper who, in this production, is depicted as a cross-dresser with an unabashedly male voice and demeanor.

            Billed as “more than one long tease — a story full of heart, hope and surprising sincerity,” this show’s best moments are its most tender: You Rule My World featuring Davis and Deitrick, whose characters have marriage troubles … the reprise sung by Pellegrino and McClellan, as their wives … the duet You Walk with Me, sung by downcast Gonzalez and optimistic Ritchie … and sweet-guy-who-can’t-grow-up Hufford’s contemplative Breeze Off the River.

            The best fast-paced number is the Act I finale, Michael Jordan’s Ball. Entertaining with athletic-inspired dance moves, it leads the audience to expect more from the less-than-inspired climax, when the dancers finally Let It Go to a chorus of audience catcalls.

            Act II is draggy and plagued by dialog problems.

            Additionally, there is the issue of body-specific dialogue often spouted by the wrong physical-type, when other directorial choices could have made for a more believable production.

            Contrary to rumors and despite the opening night’s sell-out crowd, tickets are still available. Be warned, however, that this production is rated R for nudity, language and content, and there is a specific advisory against bringing children.

 

The Full Monty by Terrence McNally and David Yazbek. Director: Mason Catharini. Music director: Emily L. Sergo. Choreographer: Andrew Gordon. Production manager: Matthew Walter. Stage manager: Atticus Cooper Boidy. Set: Ryan Ronan. Costumes: Madeline Hogue. Lights: Matthew Tillett. Sound: Bill Reinhardt. Musicians: Ken Kimble, Rich Estrin, Randy Neilson, Dean Pesnell, Allyson Wesley, Reid Bowman and Declan Hughes. With Kevin Cleaver, Angel Duque, Wendell Holland, Leigh K. Rawls, Chris Timko and Heidi Tolson.

 

Playing Thurs.-Sun. thru July 22, plus Wed. July 19, at 8:30 pm @ Annapolis Summer Garden Theatre, 143 Compromise St., Annapolis. $25, rsvp: 410-268-9212;  www.summergarden.com.