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How many dysfunctions can you cram into two hours?

To say that The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a dark film is like saying Ted Bundy was a bad date.     Rape. Beatings. Sexual sadism. And that doesn’t even cover the murder mystery at the heart of the film.     A close adaptation of author Stieg Larsson’s equally graphic and disturbing mystery novel, director David Fincher’s (The Social Network) Girl shows you the bowels of humanity in every one of its darkly beautiful frames. Fincher’s...

C’est magnifique

In 1927 a new fad was sweeping the film industry: Talking Pictures. You may have seen one or two if you’ve been to a movie in the past 84 years.     With the advent of the new technology, an entire industry fell to the wayside. Silent film actors and actresses became the cassette tapes of their times, cast into obscurity seemingly overnight.     In French film The Artist, director Michel Hazanavicius (OSS 117) chronicles the rise of talkies in a black-and-...

An entertaining investigation heavier on brawn than brains

The master of deduction Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.: Due Date) has been dealing with a lot of loss of late. His romance with Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams: Midnight in Paris) is untenable. He’s at a stalemate trying to foil the plans of arch nemesis Dr. Moriarty (Jared Harris: Mad Men). Worst of all, his best mate and sleuthing sidekick Dr. Watson (Jude Law: Hugo) is getting married.     Holmes isn’t taking it well.     In response to his...

Stay home with the kids instead of seeing this waste of celluloid

The Sitter is the kind of movie reviewers hate: It’s so tedious, lazy and humorless that it’s nearly impossible to mock.     Nearly.     In the last of his pre-weight-loss movies, Jonah Hill (Moneyball) plays Noah, a college dropout content to live off his barely-getting-by mother. He’s in a fake relationship with Marisa (Ari Graynor: Ten Year), who’s so obsessed with her ex that she uses Noah like a pudgy sex toy. Noah volunteers to...

With cold weather here to stay, warm up with these Chesapeake authors

The sights are great, world travelers report. But, they insist, you only really get to know a place through its people.     All around us are people who are the keepers of untold treasure.     Untold until you scratch the surface. Then you find yourself in the company of people who’ve recorded history being made, and people who’ve delved into the past to recover history made long ago. People who know more than anybody else in the world about this or...

A Christmas tale for the iPod generation

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring as a spaceship arrived.     Wait. Is that how the story goes?     In Arthur Christmas, a charming if not brilliant update on the story of Santa Claus, St. Nick is driven more by a palm pilot than eight tiny reindeer.     On the eve of his 70th trip around the world, Santa (Jim Broadbent: Harry Potter) is going thru the motions, letting his eldest son and...

A father loses paradise but finds his family in this touching drama

Matt King (George Clooney: The Ides of March) is too busy for tragedy. The lawyer is the family trustee of the last untouched beach in Kauai, and his cousins are pressuring him to sell. But before King can make a final decision on which $100 million offer to take, his wife has a boating accident that lands her in an irreversible coma.     Now, King must come to terms with that fact and two daughters he barely knows. The process is even harder than it sounds.     ...

It’s easy to like green in this light-hearted tale

Brothers Walter and Gary (Jason Segel: Bad Teacher) are extremely different. Gary is tall, Walter is short. Gary has a girlfriend, Walter is single. Gary is human, Walter is a Muppet. Just typical family stuff.     In spite of these differences, the brothers are close and spend their nights watching reruns of their favorite show, The Muppets. Since Walter doesn’t have much of a life beyond hanging out with Gary, The Muppets become his obsession.     Being a...

Women don’t need brains when they have a man

Leaving Breaking Dawn Part 1, mercifully the second-to-last installment in the Twilight Saga, I heard a little girl cry:     “I have so many feelings about this movie, but I can’t put them into words!”     Me too, kiddo, but they pay me to try.     Aside from being poorly scripted and woodenly acted, the entire Twilight series spoon-feeds a destructive message to young girls.     The romantic premise is as follows...

You’ve two more weekends to grab this corner of the sky.

Pippin, a deceptively complex and challenging musical, gets a strong interpretation by 2nd Star Productions. With music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz (Godspell) and lyrics by Roger O. Hinson, it recounts a fantastical tale that ultimately comes home to rooted values.     Pippin considers himself extraordinary and recoils from mundane tasks. Thus the son of Charlemagne is like many young people as he sets off to seek extraordinary accomplishments. He goes to war, enjoys...
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