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Articles by Allen Delaney

Why does the groom always stand on the bride’s right?

It’s usually because that’s where the nearest exit is.
    No, just kidding. The groom’s position is a tradition dating back to medieval times. It is also why many European countries drive on, according to us, the wrong side of the road.
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Plan ahead — and don’t sweat the small stuff

I got ordained as a wedding officiant after a very bad ceremony a decade ago. In the midst of the ceremony, I thought I had a stroke as none of what the celebrant was saying made any sense. It was as if he was picking random words from a dictionary and tossing in Biblical references.
    My wife reassured me that she was as clueless as I was.
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Pranks are everywhere just waiting to be found

With April 1 right around the corner, undoubtedly you pranksters out there are gearing up to fool some of your soon-to-be former friends and family. What I want to stress is that April 1 is not the only time for practical jokes. Any time, if the moment is right, can be used for foolishness. But first, let’s define the differences between a joke and a practical joke.
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Why Must There Always Be a Price Tag?

I’ve been waiting for the day that the town of North Beach sticks its greedy hand out to charge fun-loving people the privilege to run into the frigid Bay. Even though I have never (and will never) run into the cold water, I’ve enjoyed watching the antics of New Year’s revelers plunging in for the fun of it. And that’s the point: For the fun of it. Now it’s for charity. Why can’t something be done for fun?...

March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month

As my doctor read through my records during my yearly physical, he exhaled a worrisome Hmmmmmmm. That’s never good when you’re visiting a doctor.
    “Let’s see,” he said. “According to your chart you turned the big Five-Oh this year.”
    To me, it sounded more like the big Five-Uh-oh.
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Dear Bay Weekly:

At last, my laziness has been given the stamp of approval, at least by the scientists trying to save our precious Chesapeake Bay.

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