Articles by DIana Beechener

Article - Movie Reviews; by Diana Beechener - 2/17/11

The Mechanic

Two hitmen make mincemeat out of the company that betrayed them in this highly entertaining shoot-em-up

In a South American cartel compound, a wealthy drug jeffe dives into the blackened waters of his swimming pool. As his guards carelessly look away, he is caught by a scuba-geared assailant and drowned. Changing from scuba gear to a kitchen uniform, the assassin slips past the dozens of armed guards, who stare bewilderedly at their expired leader. It’s ridiculous, yes, but it’s also pretty damn entertaining. The Mechanic casts Jason Statham (...

Article - Things; by Diana Beechener - 2/17/11

Goosey, Goosey Gander, Where Do You Wander?

One reader’s quest to gander a gaggle sent us to the experts

On a recent trip down to my pier, I found a gaggle of interlopers monopolizing the planks and moorings. Geese. Loud, messy and surprisingly aggressive long-necked Canadas were using my pier like a roadside rest area. I was happy they’d be on their way north in a few weeks. Reader Bill Seabrook doesn’t share my uncharitable attitude toward these migrating fowl. He wrote in to find out why his recent birding walks in Anne Arundel and Calvert...

Article - Movie Reviews; by Diana Beechener - 2/10/11

The Company Men

An economic downturn upends three corporate Americans in this redemptive recession drama

In the wake of 2010’s unyielding recession and the threat of a takeover, conglomerate GTX decides to secure the company’s bottom line by laying off thousands of workers. GTX doesn’t see people. It sees falling profits and nervous investors. By trimming non-essential jobs, the CEOs can keep their private jets, $500 lunches and mahogany-trimmed offices while also fending off corporate raiders. Turns out, most laid-off people believe their jobs are essential. As the cuts go...

Article - Movie Reviews; by Diana Beechener - 2/3/11

The Rite

A few Hail Marys might have saved this horror movie

Michael Kovak (Colin O’Donoghue: The Tudors) doesn’t want to join the family funeral business. To escape this morbid life, Kovak joins a seminary, hoping for a free education. As far as the drawbacks — the whole celibacy thing, the fact that he doesn’t believe in God — Kovak figures he’ll just quit before he makes his vows. What does the church do when this Doubting Thomas tries to quit? They send him to an exorcism class in Rome. Why a priest with actual...

Article - Movie Reviews; by Diana Beechener - 1/27/11

The Green Hornet

A fun action flick with a buzzkill for a lead

In Seth Rogen’s (Funny People) latest leading role, which he wrote for himself, he creates a superhero with all the personality faults of Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man but without any of the charm or competence. It’s a bold choice to craft a possible superhero franchise around a tiresome jerk, but Rogen relishes the challenge. The film tells the story of Britt Reid (Rogan), the son of a newspaper magnate who hates his father and wants to save people. When his father...

Article - Features; by Diana Beechener - 1/27/11

Jumping to Conclusions

Digging up the origin of Jumpers Hole Road led to a few facts and plenty of fiction

Part of our What’s With That series has been a challenge to you, dear reader. We invite you to write in your queries, with the promise of an upcoming solution in our pages. Turns out, this was a foolish assertion. Pat Nesbit of Arnold wrote seeking the origin of the name Jumpers Hole Road. After a day of research, I got a bad feeling that I was about to be stumped. I was. The simple answer is this: There is no definite, provable origin to Jumpers Hole Road. But I sure...

Article - Movie Reviews; by Diana Beechener - 1/20/11

Blue Valentine

Come for a love story, stay for an emotional evisceration

Blue Valentine isn’t a romantic drama; it’s a horror movie for romantics. Derek Cianfrance’s (Cagefighter) film asks questions that most modern romantic movies attempt to avoid: What happens to a married couple when they fall out of love? What if you’re not meant to be with the person you married? The answers to these questions are often painful, messy and uncomfortable. So is Blue Valentine. But it stirs up all of these emotions without once turning into a melodrama....

Article - Creature Feature; by Diana Beechener - 1/20/11

This Week’s Creature Feature

He’s Got His Mother’s Nose

He doesn’t have a name yet, but the National Zoo’s baby giant anteater already has a photo blog and a ghostwriter. Keeper Marie Magnuson has been posting status updates and photos of the long-nosed baby boy since his birth in December. Magnuson had close contact with the baby in the early days, because mother Maripi wasn’t producing enough milk to keep the little guy gaining weight. How do you surrogate nurse an anteater? It’s pretty complicated considering the creature...

Article - Features; by Diana Beechener - 1/13/11

What's with That?

Finding the source of a local river

“What on earth does Magothy mean?” asked a guest as we walked down to the river by my Pasadena home. “It’s the name of the river,” I explained. “But what is it? Is it a person? Or a special word?” persisted my curious guest. It was a mystery. I spent 27 years living along the banks of the Magothy River, and not once had I questioned the origin of the name. It was just the river. Well that’s not good enough anymore. My first source was, of course...

Article - Movie Reviews; by Diana Beechener - 1/13/11

Season of the Witch

A B-movie with an A-List cast earns a failing grade

A priest, some crusaders and a witch wander into the woods. Turns out the joke is on whoever pays to see the movie. An overwrought, overstuffed tale of medieval mysticism, Season of the Witch fails on every possible level, from storytelling to acting to star Nicolas Cage’s improbable hairpiece. The film follows two Crusade deserters, Behman (Cage: Kick Ass) and Felson (Ron Perlman: Tangled), who return to their homeland only to find that the Black Plague has ravaged the people. The clergy...