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Your guide to Chesaeake Country's freshest produce and more!

Articles by Diana Beechener

Don’t lead women on, or you’ll turn into a vampire

Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp: The Rum Diary) has two curses in his life: He’s irresistible to women, and he’s a vampire. One might seem more serious than the other, but his callous treatment of chambermaid/witch Angelique (Eva Green: Camelot) is the cause of his undead undoing.
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When in doubt, Hulk Smash!

Banished from Asgard by brother Thor, Loki (Tom Hiddleston: The Deep Blue Sea) is a god without subjects. So he takes a page from his brother’s book, traveling to Earth. Sadly, Loki is no God of Thunder. So instead of romancing winsome astrophysicists, the God of Mischief makes a deal with an alien nation to subjugate humanity.
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Yo-ho! Yo-ho! A claymation life for me!

The pirate captain (Hugh Grant: Did You Hear About the Morgans?) is having a bad year. As the Pirate of the Year competition looms large, the good captain has little to show for his pillaging. Other pirates like Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek: Puss in Boots), Peg Leg Hastings (Lenny Henry: Tinga Tinga Tales) and Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven: Entourage) boast rare jewels and mountains of gold.
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Nature is cute, if you live in a Disney documentary

Oscar is a baby chimpanzee, living a blissful life in the jungles of Uganda. His mom dotes on him. He romps with other baby chimps during upbeat musical sequences.
    But in the distance the evil Scar and his hoard of chimp raiders threaten Oscar’s idyllic life.
    If it sounds like a Disney movie, it is.
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It’s hard not to beat up on this well-intentioned film

Alex is a sweet kid with huge lips, glasses and ears that stick out. To an adult, he’s an adorably awkward adolescent who hasn’t grown into his features. To his peers, he’s a target.
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Zombies and ghosts and mermen. Oh my!

When five attractive college co-eds spend the weekend at a creepy isolated cabin in the woods, it’s no surprise they’re marked for death. We’ve seen this movie, and it always ends the same way: Someone gets high, someone flashes her breasts and almost everyone dies.
    Such is the world of slasher filmmaking. Fans love it just the way it is.
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The hardest part of raising a puppy to be a Companion dog is saying goodbye

Since birth, Eaton’s destiny has been to serve. The golden retriever-Labrador mix was bred to be a calm, focused and obedient companion to a human in need. Aspiring to join the 1,721 active Canine Companions for Independence teams, Eaton hopes to help a disabled owner live a fuller life.
    For duty’s sake, Eaton gave up a typical puppy-hood.
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Children can be little monsters. But if you give birth to a real monster? We Need to Talk About Kevin is a nightmare about the nature of evil.
    When a pregnancy interrupts Eva Khatchadourian’s (Tilda Swinton: Chronicles of Narnia) exciting life of travel and extravagance, she reluctantly settles down to play the roles of wife and mommy.
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Rude Ranch Animal Rescue steps into the spotlight

With a nickname like The Best Little Cat House in Maryland, you might imagine that Rude Ranch earned its screen time on HBO. But Harwood’s unique no-kill shelter has won a prime spot on Animal Planet’s show Must Love Cats. The popular show features profiles of fascinating cats and the people who love them.
    How did Rude Ranch get a feature? Through happenstance and the power of the Internet.
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Sword fighting, dwarves, lush visuals and not a script in sight

Once upon a time, a movie mogul imagined it was time for another adaptation of Snow White. In a fairytale world, this would mean a beautiful production with excellent performances.
    In reality, what we got was a poison apple: Beautiful on the outside and deadly dull beneath the surface.
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