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Humor

Expanded calendar means more play time

      Squeezing the last remains from summer? Head to a county park, where you can launch a kayak, run trails, play fetch with your pooch or enjoy a picnic.       Beginning this week, four Anne Arundel County parks are open seven days a week, from 7:30am to dusk. That’s more time for you to get outside and enjoy all the Bay has to offer.      Visit Quiet Waters in Annapolis, Kinder Farm Park in Millersville, Fort Smallwood Park or Downs Park, both in Pasadena. 

Welcome to the clan crab feast

      It is never a good idea to introduce a newcomer to the clan at a family crab feast. Case in point, my cousin Ricky.        Ricky invited to a family gathering a lovely young woman from the Midwest he met during his college spring semester. That gathering turned into a crab feast after his Uncle Paul and Uncle Bobby went crabbing that morning. Ricky didn’t know this until he and his date arrived around 3pm.
Teens Crochet for the Bay to aid Patuxent Riverkeeper and American Chestnut Land Trust
      Think today’s teens always have their hands busy texting or playing video games? Not Angela Arnold and her pals at Huntingtown High School in Calvert County.       Arnold, a senior, is vice president of a club of teens who keep their hands busy with crochet hooks and yarn. Crochet for the Bay, now an official nonprofit student group, crafts handmade products to raise money for Bay conservation.

Love stories from Chesapeake Country

When Susan Met Anthony … Susan and Anthony Nolan   Playing Cupid gave me opportunity to talk with him outside work  

(And dogs)

      All the best stories are about dogs. This is the opinion of my 10-year-old daughter, so her claim carries some weight.       But for me, all the best stories take place at Christmas. Whether I am watching Southern High School’s production of A Christmas Carol or reading the story of Nativity from the Gospel of Luke, I am reminded that miracles happen in the presence of those who believe, and all the best stories contain miracles.

Its fragile globes tell the ­stories of our lives

      Every year we bring them out. The boxes come up from the basement or down from the attic; in from the garage or just out of the hall closet. Among them, there it is, brimming with memories, the Christmas box brought out once a year that tells the stories of our lives in the ornaments collected over the years. 

Why does the groom always stand on the bride’s right?

It’s usually because that’s where the nearest exit is.     No, just kidding. The groom’s position is a tradition dating back to medieval times. It is also why many European countries drive on, according to us, the wrong side of the road.

The best explanation of the game is not original, but it is legendary.     Baseball is a game played by two teams, one out, the other in. The one that’s in sends players out one at a time to see if they can get in before they get out.     If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn’t count.     If they get in before they get out, it does count.

Pranks are everywhere just waiting to be found

With April 1 right around the corner, undoubtedly you pranksters out there are gearing up to fool some of your soon-to-be former friends and family. What I want to stress is that April 1 is not the only time for practical jokes. Any time, if the moment is right, can be used for foolishness. But first, let’s define the differences between a joke and a practical joke.     A joke is verbal. It usually starts out with something like There was this rabbi, a priest and a kangaroo who walked into a bar … then ends with a humorous punch line.

Can’t get your boat to a pump-out station? One will come to you

If you spend much time on your boat, it’s probably got a head. What you put into the head can’t go into the Bay. It’s against the law to pump effluent into the Bay or its tributaries or within three miles of the U.S. coastline.