Not Just for Kids
Vol. 9, No. 13
March 29-April 4, 2001
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The How-to Cowboy

Secret, Magic How-To Fun Tricks

Each month, in this space, the How-To Cowboy will show you a secret, magic How-To fun trick - like how to whistle through your tongue, or play hand trumpet, or talk like Donald Duck, or always win at checkers.

Each trick will be given to you with step-by-step instructions, along with helpful tips, so you can become a How-To Ranch Hand and wow your friends with your new-found amazing talent. Master all of these monthly tricks, and you will become popular, even famous.

For starters, try this one (and if you don't know this one already, shame on you.)

How to Crunch Your Nose (Over and Over Without Disfigurement)

1. Say to a pal, "I can crunch my nose, break it one way, then back, without hurting myself. Wanna see?"

2. Your dubious friend will probably say, "No way, bozo."

You respond, "I'll show you, oh skeptical one."

3. Clap your hands together prayer-like, place them at your chin and then raise them up to cover your nose, thumbs resting on your lower lip.

4. Slip your right thumbnail behind your right front tooth and shout, "Watch!" Twist your nose to your left as you "click" your front tooth with your thumbnail to simulate a crunching, breaking sound.

5. Skew your mouth and nose to your left, squinting your eyes as if in pain. Remove your hands to show your friend your "broken nose." Mumble in feigned anguish, "Argh, this hurts, let me straighten my schnozz out." Repeat above. Cover nose as if in prayer. Slip thumbnail behind front tooth, and "click" your "broken nose" back into place. Sigh in relief and say, "Ooh, that feels so much better." Tell your friend to close his open mouth.

Useful tip: Take it over the top: Slip an uncooked pasta curleycue into your mouth and bite down on it as you twist your nose to your left. Crruuunnncchhh!

And just who is this How–To Cowboy?

Why, it's none other than Edward Allan Faine, author of the LITTLE NED STORIES: A Chapter-Picture Book for Kids 4-8.

Visit his website:

Now here's the best part: Each month, the How-To Cowboy offers his How-To Ranch Hand Challenge.

Send your unique How-To fun trick with step-by-step instructions to:
IM Press
Box 5346
Takoma Park, MD 20913

If accepted, see your trick published in this space, and get both a Little Ned stories book and a $10 check!

Celebrate Your Library

April 2-7 is National Library Week. Local libraries are planning lots of special events.

Draw, stamp, color and paste. Join in a scavenger hunt, and win cool prizes.

While you're there pick up a great book

Support your local library. Where would we be without them?

News Flash!

Reports confirmed today that the Anne Arundel County Board of Education has voted all students must have at least one hour of homework nightly in every subject.

New studies show that kids learn best doing their work during the late night hours.

"Kids don't need as much sleep as many school systems give them," says one county official. "So, by giving them more homework and exercising their brains at late night hours, they will have better test scores and attendance."

So kids, have fun exercising your brains late at night with four or more hours of homework.

Kids' Calendar

Wanted: Homes for Bluebirds
Sat. March 31 (10am)–Local Bluebirds are looking for new homes to raise their families. You can help them out. Learn how to make a real bluebird house at a birdhouse building workshop. All materials are provided just bring a cordless drill with a 1/8" bit and a Phillips screwdriver. $12 per family. Kinder Farm Park, Millersville: 410/222-6115.

Eggs to Legs
Sat. March 31 (10am–noon)–Baby animals are at the beginning of the circle of life, and spring is the perfect time to find them. Meet live animals hatched from eggs and enjoy a walk through nature's nursery. Dress in warm clothes. All ages. $2.50 Jug Bay Wetlands Sanctuary, Lothian: 410/947–9330.

15 Men on a Dead Man's Chest
Sun. April 1 (2 & 5pm)-Sail the high seas with a band of ruthless pirates in search of treasure as the Chesapeake Youth Players perform Treasure Island. All ages. $. Windy Hill Middle School, Owings: 410/257-2554.

Musical Snoopy
Sun.April 1 (4pm)-Sing along with the Peanuts gang. Lively songs and crazy antics will keep your feet tapping as you enjoy this "hotdog" of a musical. All ages. $. Mary D Harrison Center, Owings: 410/535-0291.

·Baby Bird Brains
Thurs. April 5 (10 am & 2pm)-What's it like to be a brand new baby bird? Together with your brothers and sisters in the nest, how do you keep warm without any feathers? How do you get your food? Come find out. Ages 3-5. $3. Battle Creek Cypress Swamp, Port Republic: 410/535-5327.

Copyright 2001
Bay Weekly