 The How-To Cowboy
Secret, Magic How-To Fun Tricks
HOW TO TALK LIKE DONALD DUCK
1.First try a warmup. Place tongue on roof mouth. Blow gently. Tongue will flap. Sound high note in throat.
Continue to blow. Press tongue tightly to roof of mouth.
2. Presto! You’ve got a police whistle. Start. Stop. Breet! Breet!
3.Now for the Donald. With mouth open, place tongue to right side of mouth and blow hard. Tongue will vibrate. Skew mouth to right also.
4.Blow HARD. Really HARD. Tongue and cheek will vibrate wildly. You’ll sound like a humped-back, crazed tabby cat, hair on end, fending off a Doberman pinscher.
5.Practice alone, away from others so as to not embarrass yourself or frighten your family.
6.Now you are ready to do Donald Duck.
 Repeat 4 above, keeping tongue and mouth skewed to the right, but blow moderately.
7.Mouth words. Say “Hello, I Love You,” or “Shutup.” Say anything.
8.Don’t worry if you don’t sound like Donald right away. As long as you’re squawking and honking, you’ll be okay. Think of a goose if it helps. Practice. Talk loud. Talk soft. Change the shape of your mouth while talking.
9.Listen to yourself. In time you’ll get it.
10.Read Donald Duck comic books. Watch Donald Duck videos. Sleep on Donald Duck sheets.
Take a trip to DisneyLand or DisneyWorld.
To imitate the upset (flustered)
Donald, vigorously shake head back and forth while making the basic sound. Feel both cheeks flap.
Greet friends and strangers alike in your new Donald voice. People will smile. You’ll be popular.
 And just who is this
How–To Cowboy?
He’s none other than
Edward Allan Faine, author of
the LITTLE NED STORIES:
A Chapter-Picture Book
for Kids 4-8.
Visit his website:
www.takoma.com/ned/home.htm
Now here’s the best part:
Each month the How-To Cowboy offers his
How-To Ranch Hand Challenge. Send your unique How-To Fun Trick with step-by-step instructions to:
IM Press,Box 5346
Takoma Park, MD 20913
If accepted, see your trick published in this space, and get both a Little Ned stories book and a $10 check!
Kids’ Calendar
Walk Your Dog
Sat. April 28–Bring your best friend to join in a walk. There’ll be doggy games, obstacle courses, prizes and doggy treats. Bring pet food or a spare blanket for Tri-County Animal Shelter. Ages 6+ w/rsvp, small fee: 9am at Mt. Hope Community Center, Sunderland: 410/257-6770.
Make Like a Celt
Sat. April 28–You may even get to try on a kilt as the Celtic Society of Southern Maryland celebrates its 23rd Celtic Festival and Highland Gathering. Celts once ruled all of today’s British isles; their descendants are still there — and here. Fun includes continuous music, dance demos, Scottish fiddling, storytelling, grazing sheep, historical displays, athletics, piping, a Celtic marketplace and more. 10-6 @ Jefferson Patterson Park, St. Leonard. Small fee: 410/257-9003.
Maryland Maritime Heritage Festival
April 28 & 29–See Theodore Tugboat for yourself as he visits Annapolis to kick off the Maryland Maritime Heritage Festival. Parents will go for dockside tours of the 65-foot vessel and talks on water safety (noon-4) plus the Merrill Lynch Melges 24 Regatta, docked in Annapolis Harbor: 410/268-7676.
Plan Ahead
Tune up your voice now for May 12 and 13. Young singers 6-12 are needed to raise their voices in the brand-new Annapolis Choir of Diversity, which will perform both secular and sacred pieces spanning cultures and languages. Audition Sat., May 12 from 3:30-5:30pm or Sun., May 13 from 1-3pm at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 333 DuBois Rd., Annapolis. But first get full particulars from founders Liz Barrett (in English) 410/263-9191 or Tatiana Johanning (in Spanish) 410/897-0903.
Copyright 2001
Bay Weekly
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