Bay Weekly’s Bad Santa Gift List
Back by popular demand, here are some of the presents we recommend for our pals in politics.
For Gov.-elect Martin O’Malley: A $20,000 home-recording studio with microphones, mixer and Fender Stratocaster guitar for the governor’s mansion in hopes that he will make his music, and his home, in Annapolis rather than living in Baltimore and wasting taxpayer’s gas money on the commute.
For Gov. Robert Ehrlich: Nine roundtrip Southwest Airlines plane tickets from BWI to Manchester, N.H. so that he can play in GOP presidential politics in the nation’s first primary state and possibly be selected as a conservative presidential aspirant’s moderate running mate.
For Senate President Mike Miller: Wheels, a megaphone and battering ram on his customized rocking chair so that if he follows through with his plan to retire after this term, he can continue to throw his weight around in Maryland politics.
For Lt. Gov. Michael Steele: A job, any job, after sacrificing his to a Democratic administration, getting shellacked in his campaign for the Senate and then passed over for Republican National Chairman.
For Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold: A real environmentalist somewhere high up in his administration to remind him often of all those lofty campaign promises about managing unwise growth.
For Del. Sue Kullen: A Barcalounger, a pitcher of mojitos and a mystery novel now that she doesn’t have to run for her political life after being elected Calvert County’s first female representative in the General Assembly.
For Del. Anthony O’Donnell of Calvert County: Sheet music to sing Kumbaya in the House chamber after promising to shed his bulldog tactics for collegiality now that he has been promoted to House minority leader.
For narrowly reelected Del. Don Dwyer: A laminated wallet card displaying the words of Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, that ye be not judged” in hopes that he will temper his crusades in Annapolis after winning his seat by 25 votes.