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Volume 15, Issue 17 ~ April 26 - May 2, 2007


Ten Ways You Know It’s Past Time to Launch Your Boat

10. Boatyard calls warn that one more month “on the hard” and you’ll owe them so much in storage fees that they’ll take title to your vessel.

9. In the General Assembly, they’ve introduced legislation to put a casino barge in your slip.

8. Every day, your neighbor hangs a trophy rockfish from his clothesline, poses for photo.

7. Kids stapled together your jib and mainsails into backyard blimp; said it reminds them of dad.

6. No. 14 on next weekend’s honey-do list: Plant six flats of yellow pansies around the entire perimeter of your yard.

5. Bob and Kendall Ehrlich want you on their radio program next Saturday morning for a riveting segment called: Me and My Bilge Pumps.

4. Your Great Uncle Ollie, who wanted his ashes spread at sea, is still riding around under the passenger seat of your mini-van.

3. Coast Guard drafted you into Auxiliary Marine Security Brigade to guard all those LNG tankers arriving in Chesapeake Bay; your .50-caliber, deck-mounted machine gun arrives Tuesday.

2. Boatyard called again, said yours has been there so long that there’s an eight-foot-high monkeywood tree sprouting through your aft deck.

1. Why launch your boat now? Because spring is finally here, of course.

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