Just How Dry Was It?

It was so dry that

Gov. Parris Glendening decided that he could best set an example of conservation for his state by giving up showers altogether. Coincidentally, Frances Glendening left on a prolonged First Lady Trade Mission to Greenland, and Raymond Glendening disclosed that he would be returning to the university early.

Anne Arundel County Executive Janet Owens changed her Farmland Preservation initiative to the Desert Restoration Act.

Max, the famous, 105-pound New Bay Times yellow lab, grew two humps.

The University of Maryland voted to change the name of its athletic teams from the Terrapins to the Horned Lizards, despite concerns that football players would call themselves the Horny Lizards.

Recognizing an influx of tropical visitors, the Annapolis board of aldermen scrapped plans to change the city's name to Funkytown, voting instead for a different new name, Monkeytown.

Big-armed Saguaro cacti sprouted at BWI, immediately receiving parking tickets from the airport's humorless, pitiless, mindless police.

The Chesapeake Bay Foundation is now the Chesapeake Hay Foundation, headquartered in Ottumwa, Iowa.

The annual Bill Burton-New Bay Times fishing expedition on Sept. 26 was changed to the annual Bill Burton-New Bay Times truffle gathering and mountain oyster hunt.

Edgewater, Md., is now Nowhere Near Water, Md.

Former Anne Arundel County executive John Gary was restricted by court order to washing his notable pompadour no more than twice daily.

The city of Annapolis decided to formally designate the new West Street traffic circle as Parched Pass.

Tobacco fields in southern Anne Arundel rolled themselves up, collected Maryland's new 66-cent a-pack tax and then went up in smoke.

And it was so dry that for the first time ever, words evaporated in the mouth of Senate President Mike Miller before they could escape to gallop freely through Chesapeake Country.

| Issue 31 |

Volume VII Number 31
August 5-11, 1999
New Bay Times

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