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Way Downstream

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In Annapolis, Santa’s sexy helper Ashley Byrne, who doubles as D.C. campaign coordinator for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, dressed down to urge lunching locals to boycott Kentucky Fried Chicken on West Street. Wearing a Santa-style cap and halter top, cheerleading skirt, jewel in her belly button and boots, Byrne carried a sign proclaiming KFC: On the Naughty List for treatment to chickens that she says, “would merit felony cruelty charges” if the creatures were dogs and cats. Byrne got plenty of attention, including from city police, who ordered her to put on her coat, claiming that she was a hazard to traffic. She stripped down to show that “vegetarianism is a great way to keep a sexy, healthy body” …

In Annapolis, Mayor Ellen Moyer this week announced her 5th annual ’07 Green Star awards: Outstanding Landowner: Alan Hyatt for the Severn Saving Bank green roof project. Outstanding Volunteer: Stu Lahman of the Spa Creek Conservancy. Outstanding Public Service: Parker Jones of Capital Bicycles for his involvement with numerous environmental projects. Outstanding Business Owner: Kent McNew for the Lincoln Drive rain garden project. Outstanding City Employee: Mark Donaldson, Department of Neighborhood and Environmental Programs. Good Neighbor Award: Baywoods Community for their work at Back Creek Nature Park. Outside the Box Award: Back Creek Conservancy for the painted rain barrel project. Partnership Award: TKF Foundation, Chesapeake Bay Trust, and Eastport Business and Civic Associations for 4th Street Park renovation project …

From Chestertown comes word that Newt Gingrich, the GOP bloviator from Georgia who probably should have run for president but didn’t, plans to endorse Wayne Gilchrest, congressman in Maryland’s first district. The take-home message here is that Gilchrest, who’s served for 17 years, feels a need to call in the chits to ward off unusual primary challenges from two Republican state senators, Andrew Harris and E.J. Pipkin and opposition from the Club for Growth, a GOP group that eats its own …

Along the Patuxent, river champions gear up to clean up their waterway once and for all. Patuxent Riverkeeper’s action plan — dubbed Patuxent 20/20 — identifies primary sources of pollution in the Patuxent and the 23 specific short- and long-term steps toward a clean river, including state funding for stormwater retrofits and numeric pollution limits for nutrients in the Patuxent and its tributaries. Using existing studies and interviewing local and state advocates and citizen groups, Patuxent Riverkeeper hopes to hold elected officials accountable for following the plan. Next year, we’ll see how it’s working, with the release of the first Report Card on the Patuxent …

On Christmas morning, we’ll be thinking more of what’s in the boxes of all sizes than the containers themselves. But when Boxing Day — the celebrated Dec. 26 throughout the United Kingdom — comes, make sure to recycle that corrugated cardboard, pleads the Fibre Box Association. Box makers need old corrugated containers to make new ones. Last year, Americans recycled 76 percent of their corrugated cardboard; 77 percent of that nearly 25 million tons reappeared in new boxes …

Our Creature Feature is a world-beater from Tom Long, our friend in Thailand and Bay Weekly’s Southeast Asia Bureau Chief. In an accompanying email, Tom wrote that he’s been waiting his entire career to write this story. It begins: “A man bit a dog Thursday in India’s southern state of Kerela.”

Yes, the man bites dog story finally has been written, and Tom’s account is memorable indeed. The dog, he wrote, strayed into the home of a 65-year-old man identified only as Pappan, then attacked his duck.

“The angry man sprang on the dog and the two slugged it out in a ditch, drawing a crowd of onlookers. Witnesses said that as the dog held one of Pappan’s palms firmly between its jaws, the man bit its throat with all his might to wrest his hand free.”

In the end, the dog did not fare well. We emailed Tom for an update on the duck. We’re not hopeful about a reply now that he’s written his dream story.