After Alaska, What’s Next?

Maryland needs a new governor, says Palin

by Margaret Tearman

In a surprise appearance at the Maryland Teapot Party rally on April 1, former Alaska governor and vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin announced her intention to challenge Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley this year.

In her trademark folksy style, Palin outlined her qualifications to be governor of Maryland, even though this was her first visit to the state.

“Alaska and Maryland have so much similar, so much similarities,” said Palin. “Both have a lot of water in and around the state, and many of our citizens fish for subsistence. You know, we both have these really big crab fisheries in Alaska and Maryland that are the main drivers of our economies.”

Palin hinted that military readiness and her experience guiding U.S. troops would be a part of her campaign platform.

“Here in Maryland, you got the big army base and of course the Naval University guarding the strategically important Chesapeake Bay,” she said. “Up in Alaska, when I was governor, I ran the military base in Anchorage, and it was important there to keep the jets and pilots ready in case Putin flew his planes over us.”

The surprise candidate drew loud cheers from the crowd on describing how happy the whole Palin clan will be living in Maryland.

“Todd and I really like to fish, and so do all the kids and grandkids. It’s a family thing, and I know all of you Maryland fishermen know what I’m talking about,” she said. “I just can’t wait to learn how to field dress one of those darn rockfish.”

She noted other points of similarity between the two states.

“The weather is a lot alike, too. I watched CNN this winter and saw the news about all your blizzards, so I know you get as much snow as we do up there in Alaska.”

All of which, she said, gives her “great credentials to lead Maryland back to the real America.”

The crowd erupted when Palin winked and said, in closing, that what excited her most would be living in the Maryland State House.

“You know, from my backyard there I can see Washington, D.C.”