Our Holiday List for a Few Special Friends
• For Gov. Robert Ehrlich, the most prodigious holiday mailer of chief executives nationwide and a decorator of dubious distinction: A lawn-sized Hallmark card with pop-out inflatable Wal-Mart lobbyists pumped up with gas for the coming battle to override his veto on the Fair Share Health Care Act.
• For Baltimore Mayor Martin O’Malley, who quit his rock ’n’ roll band to burnish his image for his gubernatorial race: A fast-action, maple-neck, comfort-contoured Stratocaster guitar with three single-coil pickups and standard synchronized tremolo to play at home, alone.
• For Montgomery County Executive Doug Duncan, who, in his gubernatorial quest, touts his background as one of 13 children and speaks lovingly of his five children: An autographed copy of author Paul Ehrlich’s The Population Bomb.
• For Annapolis Mayor Ellen Moyer, who survived a nasty brouhaha over the future of Market Place at City Dock to win re-election: A Dean & Deluca gift certificate for a set of long knives.
• For Anne Arundel County Executive Janet Owens, who is being wooed in her last months in office by developers seeking favors: Marion Warren’s photographs of the Chesapeake Bay, to remind her of the fragile beauty that can be easily destroyed.
• For David Hale, president of the Calvert County Board of Commissioners and would-be member of the General Assembly: A bottle of Dr. Monkeyfeet’s Hair Relaxant to loosen up that pompadour.
• For Maryland Comptroller William Donald Schaefer, who turned 84 last month and who has served in public office for 50 years as a Democrat: A rocking chair, pension and membership in the GOP Elephant Club.
• For the 662,000 residents of Maryland’s 3rd Congressional District: A billboard-sized scorecard to keep track of everybody slurping a Dreamcicle while running for the open seat of Rep. Ben Cardin, a candidate for the Democratic nomination for retiring Sen. Paul Sarbanes’ seat.
• For Maryland voters, who suffered through two years of lackluster General Assembly sessions overrun by sleazoid gamblers and Gucci-shoed lobbyists: A break from the debate on slots.
• For our loyal readers and advertisers who make every issue of Bay Weekly possible, our undying thanks.
Merry Christmas and may all your holidays be happy and bright.