50 Ways to Leave Your Summer

10. Bake Apple Pie

• The Crust

2 cups flour, 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. sugar,

3/4 cup shortening, 1 egg, 1 tbs. vinegar,

1/4 cup water

Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl, and cut in the shortening with a pastry blender. In a separate bowl beat together egg, vinegar and water. Mix with the dry ingredients and refrigerate dough for at least two hours before rolling out. Makes a nine-inch two-crust pie.

• The Filling

In a large bowl stir together:

2/3 cup sugar, 2 tbs. flour, 1/2 tsp. cinnamon, 1/4 tsp. nutmeg, 1/8 tsp. ginger,

1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. grated lemon rind

Add and toss to coat: 5 cups peeled apples, thinly sliced

• The Pie

Spread apples in 9-inch pastry pan. Dot with 1 tbs. butter cut into bits. Cover with top crust. Slit decoratively, brush with 1 tbs. heavy cream. Sprinkle with 1/2 tsp. sugar. Bake 1 hour at 350 degrees.

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17. It’s Hip to Be Square

It’s impossible not to have fun square dancing

story & photos by Danita Boonchaisri

I was clear from the very beginning; I did not come to dance. I had done the obligatory cavorting in fifth grade as part of the school system’s ruse to encourage appropriate boy/girl interaction, and I was still vaguely familiar with the basic do-si-do and promenade. But my square dancing days were more than 30 years behind me, and I had no intention of reliving them this Friday night.

I had come simply for the intrigue; beckoned by the two words that completed a short paragraph in Calvert County’s Parks & Recreation Guide: “Visitors welcome.” I wanted only to observe and satisfy my curiosity about what I thought certainly could not be true. Do people still actually square dance? And if so, why?

The Dance Party

The room at the Southern Community Center was overly lit, institutional and a bit stuffy on a warm summer evening. But the doors were open, with music and giggles spilling into the parking lot. Purple and black streamers festooned the walls of the room, and a banquet table was laden with all manner of delicacies: cake, salad, sodas, cookies and vegetables with dip.

This was a party. It was graduation night for a new class of Aqua Squares, when novice members of Southern Maryland’s oldest square dancing club would be tested on their ability to follow intricate dance steps, recite pertinent historical information and answer questions about the customs of square dancing in order to become full-fledged club members. The graduates didn’t seem particularly worried about the final exam, though, since there is no penalty for wrong answers or missteps, and the testing is done in the spirit of celebration and fraternity, with only a hint of formality.

Angels, or experienced dancers, coach the novices through dance routines and beam with pride as their charges manage the proper execution of a Ferris wheel or a cloverleaf. The dance moves are still a bit tricky for the newbies, and some of them have difficulty keeping up with the directions of the professional caller, who works nearly as hard as the dancers to keep things on beat. No one seems to mind or even notice the missteps that occur; it’s all part of the delight.

With an average age that appears to be somewhere near retired, the group of 25 pairs off in various combinations throughout the evening so that it becomes impossible to know who belongs together. This is clearly about more than the dance, and in between sets dancers wipe beads of sweat from their hairlines and gather around the pot-luck table to catch up on news from friends, family or other club members who are absent tonight. Throughout the evening, the inquisitive sidle up to me to offer a welcome, see why I’ve come and encourage me to join a square, cut a rug, dance. I return their smiles and insist that I’ve only come to watch, thank you.

The gathering of the Aqua Squares, one of only two square dancing clubs in Southern Maryland, is obviously the high point of the week for its members. “It is impossible not to have a good time while you’re square dancing,” said Paula Ropshaw, the Aqua Squares’ secretary.

The club recently celebrated its 35th anniversary. Only one of the founders remains, but newcomers are enthusiastic and raucous enough to keep spirits high and to ensure that the tightly knit group does not unravel.

More than once an outstretched hand reached into my quiet corner to invite me to the dance floor. In turn, I smiled at one or another kind-faced gentleman and shook my head while pointing to my notepad. I’m writing, after all. I can’t possibly dance.

A Good Call

The breaks don’t last long with this group, and soon the 45-rpm records spin again on the turntable and three or four squares of eight dancers center themselves in the room, prepared to follow the sing-song directions given by the caller

Circle to the left; now circle to the right.

The other way around, sides face.

Do a grand square.

Reverse the other way back and ladies in.

Do-sigh-do, all the way along in an ocean wave.

At the heart of any good square dance is the caller, who carefully guides the swirling couples with theatrical flair. He serves as the conductor, manager and director of the dance sessions, gauging when the group needs a quick step, a beat or two to catch up or a break.

Virgil Forbes has called for the Aqua Squares for nearly 10 years, but he has been a professional caller, honing his craft, for 27 years.

“It takes three to five years to develop the competency and floor judgment to serve as a professional caller,” Forbes says. “There is no bar to anyone becoming a square dance caller,” he adds, “except for the approval of the dancers.”

In watching him orchestrate a few rounds, I see the talent and skill it takes to build the trust to choreograph a room full of people. Since the dancers never know what direction Forbes will give — and he must pace his calls so they don’t stumble or fall behind — he recognizes that their enjoyment depends on his timing.

“Square dancing is the most complex dance form done by average people,” Forbes says. “And to be recognized as a good caller, the dancers only have to say, Hey, we like what you do.”

The Aqua Squares clearly approve of Forbes’ style, so — clad in black western wear and possessing an uncommon zeal for the pastime — he ventures from Laurel once or twice a week to spend a couple hours with the group.

Forbes fancies himself both a facilitator and an entertainer. His confidence and ego are obviously intact this evening as he deftly controls the room. He is the centerpiece, and he relishes the role he plays entertaining these dancers, week after week.

“I love the dancing, but I’m better as a caller,” he admits.

Forbes is all too happy to share his knowledge and insight on square dancing during the short dance breaks. His store of dancing lore and customs is deep, and his tidbits and anecdotes are engaging. But he, like the others, insists that a dance is the best way to satisfy my curiosity.

“You should give it a try,” he says, nodding in the direction of the dance floor.

“No, thanks,” say I. “I’m fine just watching.”

21st Century Squares

The popularity of square dancing has waned over the years.

That’s a trend the Aqua Squares enthusiastically work to reverse. Ropshaw says she would hate to see the activity die. “It is just so much fun,” she says. “Square dancing teaches you to listen and move quickly; it is good exercise for couples or singles, we laugh and share good food, and I just love the outfits — especially the crinolines. You can never have too many crinolines.”

Having cultivated square dancing for more than three decades, the Aqua Squares continually search for new members to share the fun. In square dancing, the old adage rings true: The more, the merrier.

To entice new dancers, the Aqua Squares have planned for fall a square dancing crash course to teach novices the moves and calls in a fraction of the time.

“Long ago,” says Wilson Master, past president of the club, “there weren’t many community activities, and people looked forward to square dancing as a means of socializing. Today, there are so many things for people to do it is difficult to commit to the many weeks it usually takes to learn the dance moves and calls.”

He hopes the class will bring people up to speed so they can enjoy dancing quickly.

One Last Dance

In the end, I am unable to refuse Forbes’ very public insistence that I join a square for a hands-on experience.

“You will never understand square dancing unless you try it,” he declares.

With all eyes on my bolo tie-wearing partner and me, I promenade with the remnants of grade-school skill that seemed to return from nowhere.

The group approves and is generous with their applause. At the conclusion of my short performance, as I tender the customary bow and thank you to my square partners, I’ve discovered that the dancers were right: It is impossible not to have fun square dancing. On the way home, still beaming from my performance, I wonder how I’d look in a purple bouffant petticoat.

Danita Boonchaisri is a freelance writer from Calvert County. She enjoys writing about Marylanders and the remarkable hobbies and pastimes they pursue. This is her first story for Bay Weekly.

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32. How to Raise Your Kids and Save Your Sanity

Back to class to learn what school never taught you

Art therapist Nancy McCamish and daughter Lydia.

story & photos by Janice F. Booth

A sunny garden, leaves rustling in the trees, children napping in their rooms — who would expect monsters to emerge? But they do.

Art therapist Nancy McCamish — who trained at Georgetown University, earning a masters degree — was babysitting a friend’s toddler when an afternoon thunderstorm rumbled through. Her charge woke, screaming. McCamish cuddled the distraught child, then grabbed crayons and paper. In bold, waxy strokes, the two-year-old’s depiction of the monster storm emerged.

This was the very storm raging outside, McCamish and the toddler agreed. “Let’s fold-up this storm and tuck it deep in your sock drawer, where it won’t be able to bother you,” McCamish suggested, and that is what they did. The parents returned to find their child sleeping peacefully, fears mastered, security restored.

Through art, McCamish helps children master their fears and interpret their environment. At Anne Arundel Community College’s Parenting Center, she teaches parents how to use drawing, sculpting and other forms of art therapy to help children deal with anxiety, express their emotions and develop their creativity.

Parenting Center to the Rescue

McCamish found the Parenting Center as a student listening to Dr. Lou Aymard lecture on parenting.

“He used the good-boss-bad-boss metaphor for parenting,” she remembers, and she left feeling “inspired.”

As the mother of three-year-old Aidan and six-year-old Lydia, McCamish appreciates the value of inspiration — in parenting as well as in art.

The McCamish children are two of the more than 122,000 babies, children and teens living in Anne Arundel County, accounting for one-quarter of county population according to the 2004 American Community Survey of the U.S. Census Bureau. Yet not one parent, grandparent, sibling, aunt or uncle got a training manual when a child entered his or her life.

“We need family-centered education,” says the man who inspired her, child psychologist, professor, author and lecturer Lou Aymard.

Five years ago, Aymard retired from his flourishing private practice to realize a vision: an institute providing accessible, affordable and responsible resources for parenting. That vision became the Parenting Center, which has grown from three courses to over 40 and from a faculty of one to 25. Anne Arundel Community College has supplied the Center with physical, financial and professional resources: a suite of offices, advertising, seed money and faculty.

Aymard directs the Center. He has brought together a staff of distinguished professionals in such areas as art and play therapies, nutrition, sleep therapy and drug and alcohol counseling. Ninety-eight percent of the Center’s faculty — child psychiatrists, psychotherapists, family therapists, registered nurses and social workers — are parents too, grappling with the same dilemmas and questions as the people who enroll in their courses.

Avuncular, charismatic and passionate, Aymard never passes up an opportunity to advocate for parents and children, to discuss the tough job of parenting and the struggles faced by both children and those who raise them. He is fond of quoting Alfred North Whitehead: “Our children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.”

The parents who take these courses are “fellow travelers,” Aymard reminds his faculty. “Nobody’s to blame [if problems arise]; everyone does the best they can.”

Aymard’s students get the message. Lynn Nappari, an adult student at Anne Arundel Community College, has three daughters, one of whom suffers from a serious health condition. Nappari’s first experience with the Parenting Center was Aymard’s course Parenting the Siblings of Children with Special Needs. In it, Nappari learned to discuss with her daughters some of the tough decisions parents must make when the needs of family members conflict. The daughters shared in the decisions — and in their consequences.

“I only wish I’d taken that course earlier, when the girls were small,” Nappari said. “I learned that I didn’t have to make decisions about family resources, time and attention all by myself.”

Learning to Manage

Anger management specialist Melissa Kerr with one-year-old Emma and three-year-old Abi.

One-year-old Emma and three-year-old Abi are being put to bed by their father, Chris, as Melissa Hallmark Kerr explains her work with anger and stress management. Like many families, the Kerrs are busy people. Chris is a systems engineer working as a contractor for the government. Melissa is a renowned child therapist who wrote The Anger Management Source Book with Dr. Glen Schiraldi.

With a doctorate in public and community health, Kerr studies the relationship between behavior and mental health, particularly how we handle stress and anger. What happens when we’re stressed? We grow edgy, angry. Some of us try to suppress that anger; others let it erupt. Neither approach is particularly good for us. Instead, Kerr recommends “normalizing anger.”

Anger is a common emotion, Kerr reminds her students. Feeling angry is normal. “It’s an experience everybody has,” she says. “We all need practical ways to address the problems [that cause stress and anger] in a safe, loving environment.”

Expressed anger can get out of hand, even destructive. Kerr offers alternative ways to deal with anger, such as a diary or letter, and chances to practice new methods of communicating anger through discussions and role playing.

In the accepting environment of Kerr’s classes, students work in groups on exercises that defuse anger. Her Parenting Center courses in anger management are always full. People sign up, they tell her, because they want to handle their anger more effectively; occasionally because a counselor, spouse, or supervisor has insisted.

“Managing Anger in Family Life is a very spiritual class,” Kerr says. “It gives people a chance. It’s the best kind of self-help. When students do the work, you can see the change.”

What she can teach others may change lives, change people, prevent suffering.

“Recently, I had a young man take this course,” Kerr says by way of example. “He had a large family, worked full time, faced problems in his marriage: Lots going on. Well, he just devoured the course work and reading, and there’s a lot to do and read. Later he e-mailed me that the class saved his marriage.”

Each term, the Parenting Center’s faculty and students write another chapter in their personal how-to manuals on helping children.

The Price Is Right

Therapists charge from $90 to $190 an hour to work with children and their parents. Group counseling sessions are almost as expensive. Therapy means weekly meetings and sometimes time from work for adults.

In that context, Parenting Center courses are a bargain: $45 is the cost for studying with Kerr for six hours over three weeks. That’s also what you pay for two, two-hour class sessions studying with a licensed drug rehabilitation therapist. The time commitment is less disruptive, usually evenings or week-ends.

Rachelle Tannenbaum teaches Parenting Gifted Children. After eight years counseling and teaching such children and their families at Johns Hopkins University, Tannenbaum knows how to help match children with programs and resources and to advise parents on negotiating with their child and with their child’s teachers. The price: $45.

Tannenbaum knows something about managing frustration, too, having dealt with the barriers and stereotypes facing exceptionally bright children. She knows how they’re often unpopular with their peers and overlooked by teachers because she herself is a product of public education’s sometimes hit-or-miss programs for the gifted child.

“Our educational system has no problem recognizing prowess in athletics, but intellectual strengths are overlooked and even ostracized,” Tannenbaum says. Her course helps families advocate for their children and combat those inequities.

What’s In It for You

You don’t have to be comforting a child with nightmares or figuring out how to challenge a brilliant 12-year-old to find an interesting and useful course at the Parenting Center. Courses begin monthly, tackling many of the tough questions responsible adults are asking.

If you’re facing the prospect of caring for an elderly parent, Parenting Our Parents covers the difficult issues associated with helping the elderly while respecting their dignity and independence.

Worrying about how to handle a daughter’s poor eating habits? Registered dietitian and associate professor of nutrition Amy Allen-Chabot — who specializes in proper diet, weight management and eating disorders — teaches Healthy Nutrition for Families.

When your six-year-old asks for a gerbil or a great Dane, enroll in Joseph Lamp’s course on choosing a family pet.

The Parenting Center will bring a course or lecture to your neighborhood action group, church, business or school — or develop a course or lecture to suit your organization’s interests.

The Center has, for example, developed a series of courses responding to the specific needs and values of the Hispanic, the Korean and the African American communities in Anne Arundel County.

When you’re in charge of your book club’s annual children’s litertaure seminar; arrange with the Parenting Center for a session on trends and authors in children and teen literature. Your church retreat might include an afternoon about learning how to help children express their joys and fears through art. Your school might try an in-service day on anger and stress management. Your staff might work under less stress after a half-day seminar on Balancing Work and Family Life.

The Parenting Center, Center for Applied Learning and Technology Anne Arundel Community College at Arnold: 410-777-2159; www.aacc.edu/parenting.

Janice Booth’s Bay Weekly story “Raising Flowers in Fields Where Tobacco Once Thrived” (Vol. xiii, No. 28, July 14, 2005) won first prize in the Maryland, Delaware, D.C. Press Association 2005 editorial competition. She won in the Business-Economic category, beating out three dozen weekly newspapers with circulation of 10,000 to 20,000.

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